Author name: Sidhant

So, after reading some of these dating stories a girl termed me as the ‘Ranbir Kapoor of masses’. Now I don’t know whether it was a genuine compliment, mockery, or just ‘flattery to get into my pants’, but the validation definitely felt good. I can’t even imagine what it would be like to be a girl in such a world filled with effortless validation via compliments, doors being opened everywhere from swanky cars to happening clubs, and even complimentary drinks on the house to name a few. On a more serious note though, one needs to be the lead protagonist (Ranbir Kapoor) of at least their own life. Anyhow, I did continue the conversation in a jovial tone and since I am not a big fan of texting suggested meeting up to “know each other better”. She got the hint but is looking for different things, and also was living at her parents’ house at that moment (no landing page) so I didn’t persuade her otherwise. A few months later, I put a LinkedIn post of mine in my social media stories (validation enthusiast). She replied to it on Whatsapp complimenting it and even drawing insightful analogies in other domains of life. As we started talking, she enquired about my plans for that weekend. She had booked a room in a fancy 5-star hotel as she had some ceremony to attend and other tasks to do, over the next 2-3 days so just decided to do a change of scenery while being in the city. She inquired if I was free to meet. Now, I am a JIT guy with no friends or substantial connections so obviously I had no plans. And even if I did, do you think I would have said no to such a rush of dopamine just from the anticipatory joy? We decided to meet later that night and as I am not into the whole wine and dine ritual of the experience economy, decided to drop by her room with some liquor and Diet Coke. I was on my way to her hotel around 10 and got a message from her. She said she needed my help in resolving an issue and I might have to wait in the hotel lobby for a few minutes. I got really curious. As soon as she opened the door, I felt a gush of warmth in her presence. And it wasn’t just her effortless yet spectacular dressing sense or her gorgeous eyes or even her glowing skin. It was the entire vibe that was totally mesmerizing. Also, the issue was that while she was combing her hair, the comb got entangled in them quite badly. She was all tensed up and was trying to get it out endlessly. The next few hours were some of the most spontaneously fun hours spent on a first date. From trying to figure out the right direction to move the comb to google ways to remove the comb to my suggestion of putting peanut butter on the hair (Office reference). While chatting over drinks we tried almost everything (except obviously the peanut butter). We even broke the comb’s bottom part to lessen the weight on her head. And finally, the quest ended when I decided to use my teeth and break apart the comb’s bristles stuck in the hair while she untangled the strands. Victory! So needless to say, it was quite an unexpected rollercoaster of a start. She definitely felt thankful to me for actually even chewing the bristles of a comb out for her and felt that she would have most likely cried herself to sleep that night had the comb not been removed. We next decided to have some dinner and post that watch something on Netflix. Choosing what to watch actually took us longer than actually watching it. Our attention got diverted by other matters. Anyway, as she had a long day so we ended up sleeping within a few hours. She also likes to cuddle like me. In fact, it is my favorite thing to do in bed, and she said that she’s a ‘cuddle monster’ who just loves it. She is quite a peaceful sleeper and although I got up from a 12-hour sleep just a few hours back, in her warm and cozy company I was fast asleep again. Anyway, coming to the MBA concept of the ‘KF4D‘. After my MBA, I joined a consulting firm that specializes in the talent strategy domain. One of the insightful learning was the 4 parameters of gauging a person by the concept of KF4D (Korn Ferry 4 Dimensional Assessment). The four quadrants are competencies, experiences, traits, and drivers. It helps in sketching the archetype of an individual and drawing the reasoning for all the decisions made and actions taken by them. The reason why someone senior at your firm or HR during an interview asks about family is a lot more than just small talk. Family ecosystem and childhood are the hypnosis stage of life (first 7 years)  and shape the drivers and traits majorly. A number of useful insights can be gathered from KF4D in the modern-day dating context. Most of the dating decisions are being made on the basis of the top 2; competencies (education pedigree, job, etc) and experience (primarily age, previous relationship status). Be it the parents looking for matrimonial matches via an arranged marriage, or people swiping on dating platforms. The pedigree and salary are primary filters used to judge a potential partner. That might be a big reason for a number of broken relationships. When it comes to a serious relationship, make sure that you spend a substantial amount of time (real, not virtual) with the other person before going into the relationship. Gauge the bottom two during that time spent together. Figure out the traits of that person during that time by observing mundane activities like addressing a waiter at the restaurant, or offering to hold your bags when your

So this year started on a good note, watched a Netflix movie projected on the wall in the comforting blanket cuddled up with a cosmopolitan, globally transversed artist. Let me rewind a bit, I was talking to this girl who fits perfectly in my TG. She is an artist who grew up in Dubai, post which she moved to the US and pursued a degree in fashion. We immediately hit it off and ended up catching up later the same night. I dropped by her flat. Anyhow, post the New year’s Eve incident, I categorically asked her to watch my fall video to prevent a similar mishappening. Thankfully, it didn’t, it was a cherishable movie night. And even though it was quite a badly directed movie, I just didn’t want it to end. Anyway, coming to the MBA concept of ‘MECE Principle‘. It is a grouping principle for separating a set of items into subsets that are mutually exclusive (ME) and collectively exhaustive (CE). It was developed at McKinsey & Company, one of the leading consulting firms in the world. The MECE principle is useful in the business mapping process wherein the optimum arrangement of information is exhaustive and does not double count at any level of the hierarchy. Examples of MECE arrangements include categorizing people by the year of birth (assuming all years are known). Strategy consultants use MECE problem structuring to break down client problems into logical, clean buckets of analysis that they can then hand out as workstreams to consulting staff on the project. Interesting insights can be drawn in the context of modern-day dating from the MECE principle. We can revisit the Triangular Model that talks about the three components of love. Basically, dating/ relationships can be categorized into three mutually exclusive, collectively exhaustive (MECE) buckets- emotional intimacy, intellectual intimacy, and physical intimacy. When you have all three from the same person, the love is of the most consummate form. But the risk also increases as you become too dependent on that person. Due to the same fear, all my life, I have been hedging my risks by getting each of the three components from different people. I converse with certain girls due to the intellectual/ wit connect, Certain others for the emotional connect or oxytocin. And finally, there have been a string of casual encounters for over a decade for physical intimacy or dopamine. It has its pros but also cons in terms of mental wellness. But in any relationship, you need at least two out of the three components for it to survive. This is a big reason why long-distance relationships fail more often than not, physical intimacy is right out of the window from the beginning, and slowly even emotional intimacy begins to fade away. That brings me to the fashion designer, So is this it? Have I finally found the one to fill colors in my grey life? Well, she is in a relationship with a fellow designer for the past five years. For the past year, they are in a long-distance relationship as he’s based in the US. Since they have a solid foundation with intellectual and emotional intimacy in place, they decided to open up the relationship in terms of physical intimacy. The night was quite memorable as watching a movie projected on her bedroom wall cozied up in a warm blanket on a chilly night was definitely a first. I mean she was watching the movie, and I was watching her. Though, I didn’t hear back from her post that night. Later, Sidhant

One of her sketches So, recently a girl was so impressed by this site, and the insights, that she regretted not coming across it earlier, would have saved a lot of her precious time. She even went on to compare my writing to that of the protagonist of the TV series ‘Sex and the City’, Carrie Bradshaw. I hadn’t seen the series and ended up at her place to watch it together over drinks. Her room had the perfect ambiance and lightning. That combined with her ethereal sketches, cute Harry Potter tattoos, and the wide array of drinks was exactly what I needed to get out of my recent low. We skipped the TV series and ended up listening to some soulful music. She is one of the few people with a similar dark and heartfelt playlist to mine. I could see a part of my iconoclastic self in her and didn’t even realize when the night passed away in her company. Anyway, coming to the MBA concept of the ‘Peak End Rule‘. It is a psychological tool that explains how people remember experiences in their lives. Instead of considering the average or sum of total experience, Peak-End Rule says that we remember the highest or lowest points of an experience and how it concluded. Behavioral Economists Daniel Kahneman and Barbara Frederickson in their 1993 study found that human memory is rarely a perfectly accurate record of events. We remember experiences in our lives as a series of snapshots rather than a complete catalog of events. Telecommunications company AT&T typically operates busy stores. What AT&T figured out, was that implementing a system to help customers visualize the line queue eliminated a lot of anxiety and frustration. AT&T employee greets you upon arrival and puts you into the queue, which you can plainly see on displays throughout the store. This gives you the freedom to roam the store or sit and relax knowing exactly when you’ll be served. The change here wasn’t the digital display as much as it was the behavior that AT&T changed to enhance the customer experience. Greeting and acknowledging customers as they come into the store is the real key. Through research, AT&T was able to prove that a customer considered his or her experience markedly improved thanks to this one tiny tweak: speaking to a customer when they came through the door. At the end of their transaction, AT&T also makes sure that employees walk customers through the store and shake their hands, a clear attempt at influencing the Peak-End Rule. Think about the last time you went on vacation. What do you remember? Perhaps you remembered a beautiful view from the top of a mountain. Maybe a morning on the beach with your family. You might also have pictured the moment when you thought of losing your passport. Whether the memories were happy or miserable, your overall impression of your last vacation likely featured a few particularly strong moments. Experiences are mostly judged by their end or peaks. We judge an experience by its most intense point and its end, as opposed to the total sum or average of every moment of the experience. The Peak End rule can be applied in the context of modern-day dating. Have you ever had a relationship that ended terribly? You probably remember it in a negative light, but that might have a lot more to do with the way it ended than with the relationship itself. If planning a vacation with your partner, an intense adventure-filled day trip full of high-intensity bursts of excitement (dopamine) may make as many positive memories as a week away at some far-off exotic destination with less to do. My experiences with relationships might have been negligible but my memory of the dating encounters mostly just have a peak and an end. To the extent that in numerous memories I don’t even remember the name of the girl. Like from the ‘elevator pitch’, I still remember matching the beats of that ten-minute long song with the teacher, or from ‘lead time’ I still remember the expression on that Uber driver’s face, or from ‘experience economy’ I remember her dropping me off to my place at the end of the date. You can put the insights when planning a date. Tap into empathy, end on a high, and make your date feel great about the experience. Studies show we remember moments of intense pleasure, even if those moments are sparse, more fondly than experiences where we are mildly comfortable throughout. You need to get high positive peaks in your interactions with a date. Including fun, spontaneity, and surprises in interactions to fuel up dopamine in the matrix is one of the best ways to create these positive peaks. Reserve the best and most fun moments towards the end of the event so that both of you walk away with warm fuzzy feelings. Most importantly, you need to remember that people remember negative experiences more vividly than positive ones. Moments of confusion and frustration also act as “peaks” in the peak-end rule — they are emotionally charged and have a substantial effect on the impression that the person will later recall. That brings me to the ‘Sex and the City’ reference girl. So is this it? Have I finally found the rendition of my dark songs? Is my iconoclastic reflection finally in my life? Well, in the morning while I was leaving, her washroom door got auto-locked from inside and the memory of the interaction took a turn for the worse towards the end. That combined with incompatibility in the bottom two quadrants of KF4D and lack of positive peaks, made the memory lackadaisical. Although, that night with her beautiful sketches and Harry Potter tattoos would definitely imprint the positive peaks of the encounter in my memory for quite some time. Later, Sidhant

So the last night of 2020 perfectly summarised the entire year. At around 8 PM, I got a message from a woman saying ‘Drinks tonight?’. If this is the first message any girl sends you, you are bound to get suspicious. But that didn’t happen in this case as I knew she was a real person who teaches in my school and had joined during my final years of schooling. Now I am someone who would never say no to such an offer due to the high expected NPV in terms of dopamine. I replied, ‘Definitely’. I got a call from her immediately and all she asked me was how long it will take to reach her place. She shared her address, and I was there within an hour. I took some liquor along post the learning from the wine date incident that had happened years back. The night was quite memorable in a new aspect. Anyway, coming to the MBA concept of the ‘Association Principle‘. It is a concept taught in the marketing courses at a b-school. It is a type of advertising technique that “associates a product with a positive cultural value or image”. The association principle attempts to convince consumers that there is an innate relationship between a brand or product and an attitude. It is quite commonly used by firms to position their product better in the minds of their target market (TG). A well-known example is the age-old Cadbury’s India tagline of ‘Kuch meetha ho jaye’. In India, every occasion of celebration or festival is accompanied by the exchange of sweet delicacies. Cadbury tapped into this market and targeted a new target group (TG) of adults by positioning Dairy Milk as a replacement for traditional Indian sweets. The association principle has interesting insight into the context of modern-day dating. People, especially in India associate a certain positive correlation with dating/matrimonial matches. They have a pre-conceived notion that guys from these college brands are the best matches in every sense. They just focus on the competency part and ignore the other three quadrants in KF4D (Experiences, Drivers, Traits). This leads to a huge expectation mismatch at later stages. If a guy is from a certain pedigree, it doesn’t warrant that he’ll act in a particular way or will be the best match. ‘Correlation doesn’t mean causation‘. That brings me to the date with my school teacher. So is this it? Have I finally found the tutoring I needed all my life? Is the bad spell of my life over with the end of 2020? Well, post my accident (switch on the subtitles, audio gets muffled in the audience laughter), my balance and coordination got hampered a bit. As soon as I reached her place, she felt that it was caused by inebriation and that I was drunk already. Then she made up some excuse about the flatmate’s boyfriend meeting with an accident that she just found out about and needed to rush to the hospital. Her flatmate actually couldn’t control her laughter as my date was telling this story. My closest guess is she didn’t want to feel like a third wheel with her flatmate and boyfriend as her date would have backed off at the last moment. So was playing ‘fastest finger first’ with her matches with whoever drops to her place. I reached the fastest, but then she didn’t like what she felt about my seemingly inebriated state. It was just 9 and she could call the next option and still have a great New Year’s party. Anyhow, I left the liquor bottle so that at least someone has a good time. I never heard from her post her final parting words of ‘I’ll get back to you’, which summarises all the HR mails of 2020 perfectly. Later, Sidhant

So recently, I was with a girl who didn’t know my name before she met me. She just knew the nick, ‘Sid’. But we gelled so well over the phone that at one point in time, we were completing each other’s sentences. There was non-stop banter and laughs, combined with our crazy past dating stories. She is the only girl I have met whose ARR (Annual run rate) in terms of casual encounters for 2019 is more than mine. That is quite ironic because before 2019 her ARR was zero. The next day when we met, the chemistry took a whole new level. Time with her just flew by and I just didn’t want the encounter to end. Anyway, coming to the MBA concept of ‘Expected Net Present Value (NPV)‘. It is a concept taught in the finance courses at a b-school. It is a capital budgeting technique that adjusts for uncertainty by calculating net present values under different scenarios and probability-weighting them to get the most likely NPV. Expected NPV is the sum of the product of NPVs under different scenarios and their relevant probabilities. The following formula is used to calculate the expected NPV. Expected NPV = Σ (p × Scenario NPV) Scenario NPV is the NPV under a specific scenario while p stands for the probability of occurrence of each scenario. For example, if a firm is evaluating an investment in the project. There are three scenarios: NPV (in million dollars)ProbabilityBest400.4Base300.2Worst100.4 Expected NPV = Best Case NPV × Probability of Best Case Scenario + Base Case NPV × Probability of Base Case Scenario + Worst Case NPV × Probability of Worst Case Scenario = 40 × 0.4 + 30 × 0.2 + 10 × 0.4 = 26 million dollars The expected NPV of the project is 26 million dollars. So the firm can decide accordingly whether it wants to go forward with the investment. The concept of expected NPV can be used in the context of modern-day dating to draw some interesting insights. When going on any date, you can calculate the NPV of the interaction in terms of expected happiness (dopamine and oxytocin) that can be gained out of it. It would also depend on your present state and primary chemical drivers. If you are looking for something long-term or have oxytocin as your primary driver, then you need to weigh the expected NPV of the oxytocin gained from that date. Here the LTV also has a vital role to play. As that date might build into exponentially higher oxytocin gains on later dates with the same person. If you are in a low state or casually dating or have dopamine as your primary dating driver, then you need to weigh the expected NPV of the dopamine gain from that date. That is the summation of the product of expected probabilities of various outcomes and the dopamine gain out of that outcome. An outcome could range from the date standing you up to the two of you having crazy, mind-numbing sex. That brings me to the girl who was completing my sentences. So, is this it? Have I finally found the second half of my sentence? Well, she is dating a guy seriously for the past few months, they just had a tiff that later got sorted and she is back with him. But, our bodies were like magnets that just didn’t want to let go of one another. That combined with her high drive in bed and an innate desire to please her partner made the dopamine index off the charts. It definitely made the encounter in one of the top five dopamine NPVs in over a decade of my dating life. Later, Sidhant

So, I had an encounter that was a first of its kind in many ways. Starting off with the latest trends, she had COVID some time back and recovered well. The wordplay game over texting was so enticing that we ended up meeting in just a few hours. It was not just about the chemistry but there was a sense of surprising familiarity right from the moment I sat in her car. It was a feeling that I had known her for years. Our bodies felt like long-lost magnets, and they just couldn’t get enough of each other. Anyway, coming to the MBA concept of the ‘Bandwagon Effect‘ taught in one of the introductory courses of microeconomics. It is a phenomenon whereby the rate of uptake of beliefs, ideas, trends increases with respect to the proportion of others who have already done so. As more people come to believe in something, others also “hop on the bandwagon” regardless of the underlying evidence. The image to the left is one example of an advertisement using the bandwagon effect. To get people’s attention, Nike says that “everyone” is buying their products. This ad highlights the cognitive idea of availability heuristics which, states that whatever is most available in your mind will be used to make judgments. Nike’s suggestion that everyone has their products will influence the consumers’ perspective because the information that is available to them is telling them that if they want to fit in, they should purchase their products. Investing and financial markets can be especially vulnerable to bandwagon effects because not only will the same kind of social, psychological, and information economizing factors occur, but additionally the prices of assets tend to rise as more people jump on the bandwagon. The dot-com bubble of the late 1990s, the housing market bubble of 2008-09, and the subsequent crashes all were prompted by the bandwagon effect.  The bandwagon effect can be used to draw crucial insights in the context of modern-day dating. The rapid adoption of dating apps despite serious initial apprehensions in most of the sane minds was fueled by the bandwagon effect. It was the initial peer pressure that got them on the platform and the addictive dopamine bursts from the apps make them stick around. This tendency of people to align their beliefs and behaviors with those of a group is also called a herd mentality. Also, you might be a great person; honest, funny; humble. kind et al, but in most cases, your elevator pitch won’t be made by you. It will be made by your social image; the mutual friends, colleagues, and most importantly your social media profile. It is based on the principle of social proof and then has a halo effect (when one impression is used to make an overall judgment) on your subsequent interactions. This is one of the rare benefits of social media; you can use it astutely to portray yourself as whatever you want by filtering out the other aspects. If used sharply, it acts as a great tool for pull marketing and helps in bringing down the lead time considerably. You need to come off as a fun, social person whose company is enjoyed by others. Especially if you are a guy, being seen with other girls helps in portraying a stronger BATNA. But don’t overdo it, otherwise, it might backfire. I try to portray myself as an exuberant, nonchalant, iconoclastic guy to disassociate myself from the typical Indian image of the IIT IIM pedigree. That combined with a brief skimming of this site, makes me one of the worst bets for something substantial. I mean over a decade of dating with nothing lasting for longer than a few days indicates the obvious (words<actions<patterns). If she still decides to invest time in me, it’s on her. That brings me to the first COVID recovered date. So, is this it? Is this the familiarity I had been missing? Has my body finally found its magnet? Is this the first that’ll last? Well, she works in London with a globally leading bank and is an NRI. She was back in India to visit her family post her COVID recovery. She left back for London and I am not a subscriber of the long-distance relationship philosophy. Coming back to the first though, I hadn’t made out in the car in broad daylight or torn off the bedsheet due to the sheer rigor. Later, Sidhant

2020 had been quite unpleasantly surprising by far. Not getting into the detailing and sticking to the genre of the site, one of the emergent trends is DFH (Date from Home). All the dating apps are trying to cash in on it by introducing features like video calling, picture sharing, etc. But there is one major flaw in that approach, for basic chemicals of love (oxytocin and more importantly dopamine), you need in-person interactions. So all these chats and video calls are a good way to kill boredom, but have quite a low LTV. That is why a landing page is more necessary now as no one in the whole world knows how long this pandemic situation prevails. Delhi Heights So, recently I was at the place in every Indian parent’s dreams, a civil servant’s home. Just to clarify it was a date with an IPS officer’s daughter at their place while her dad was away. Situated on the top floor of a high-rise tower in Delhi, the view of the entire city in the night from the glass walls was just bewitching. It makes one realize how minuscule personal concerns and worries are in comparison to the bigger scheme of things. Coming to her, she is one of the few women who looks better in person than in her photos. Otherwise, these days with technology and filters the majority of girls look like the next Mona Lisa in pictures. Her first glimpse was in a chic brown Burberry dress, matching with her wedges, rimmed glasses, and even the hairstreaks. I later even pointed to her how the flooring, furniture, and even the air conditioners were of the same color palette. Funnily though, she was wearing a face mask when she opened the door, so it was definitely memorable. We had a lot in common, and time in her company just flew with the wind in her room’s balcony overlooking the capital. She is running her own venture in the medical devices space. Lived in Delhi for the majority of her life, the snobbishness was quite visible especially when she mentioned the brand of her ‘Stanley’ sofa. But, it seemed cute, especially with her puerile smile. Anyway coming to the MBA concept of ‘Denominator Neglect‘. It is focusing on relative frequencies of numerators, paying attention to numerators (number of times an event has happened), and inadequate attention to denominators (overall number of opportunities for an event to happen). I still remember during my brand marketing stint with Mondelez, we ran a scratch and win a year’s supply of Cadbury Silk contest as an activation campaign. Marketers on a mass scale highlight the winners to prompt more sales but at the same time astutely leave out the minuscule percentage of the number of units with the winning code. In fact, the Indian media industry is majorly exploiting denominator neglect, where they single out a particular case/individual for more TRPs while conveniently overlooking the macroscopic issues. Denominator neglect has widespread applications in the context of modern-day dating. Another phrase for it is, ‘ plenty of fish in the sea‘. You’ll meet around eighty thousand people in your life out of the more than seven billion there in this world. ‘Your time in this world is limited, the people aren’t‘. Denominator neglect is the biggest reason for numerous individuals spending years in miserable relationships due to sunk cost fallacy. It is also a big cause that so many bear the unreasonable lead time of their ‘crushes’ to finally see them go with someone else. Just a couple of pointers, Firstly identify your TG and USP, knowledge of self is the highest form of knowledge. Secondly, age demographics play a big role, especially for men. Also, these are in the context of India, for the western countries, you can add five years as a rule of thumb. A considerable number of girls from late teens to mid-twenties spend the majority of their leisure time battling macroscopic issues (patriarchy, government, misogyny, etc.) where they have little to no control. The remaining few have belief in the Cinderella story of Prince Charming. Mid-twenties to the early thirties go in microscopic issues and societal pressure of ‘settling down’. Most potential dates are looked at as tags (educational pedigree, well-paying profession, plush lifestyle) they bring to the table and whether those tags are worth a lifetime commitment. Women in the early thirties to late thirties on dates are in a fading hope of a happily ever after, in most cases for the second time around. Also, practicality is directly and lead time is inversely proportional to age. They may not be applicable to each and every case but archetyping always helps. By the age of 40, you’ll meet every person who is there in this world. You’ll either meet the person or their archetype (KF4D). There is no point in wasting your time crying over your crush/ex. There are countless like him/her. That brings me to the ‘Stanley’ sofa date. So is this it? Have all the dates in Delhi in the past years finally led me to the actual view? Is she the policing my life needed? Well, I have a no engineer/ Indian MBA policy when it comes to dating. They propagate binary thinking, have skewed gender dynamics, and have too much similarity with my backdrop. So the whole point of dating is an escape from my mainstream life is nulled. Although she did her Masters from an Ivy League school, she is an engineer that too from one of the top colleges in India. Also, her place is in the other corner of the city and she stays with her mother so the landing page might become a bottleneck in the future. Despite the fact that the conversation with her was quite stimulating and full of laughs, we had to bid goodbye. By the way, I don’t know whether her bed was of Stanley, but it was equally warm and comforting that night, especially

So, I had gone to pick up a date. She stays in south Mumbai and we had plans to go to a club in Bandra. It is approximately a half an hour drive. On the way, after talking for a bit we figured out that we had a lot in common. After getting acquainted really well during the cab ride, we reached our destination. As clubs are quite noisy and we had established common ground; I asked her if she wanted to go back to her place instead. She promptly agreed and we went back to her place. The Uber driver though requested us to book another cab. Anyway coming to the MBA concept of ‘Lead Time‘. It is taught in operations management and signifies the time between initiation and completion of the production process. For example, the lead time between the placement of an order and delivery of a new car from a manufacturer may be anywhere from 2 weeks to 6 months. Toyota came up with the system of Just in Time (JIT) production. This means the wait time is zero. JIT system would be a car manufacturer that operates with low inventory levels relying on its supply chain to deliver the parts it needs to build cars. The parts needed to manufacture the cars do not arrive before or after the manufacturer needs them; instead, they arrive just as the manufacturer needs them. The concept of lead time can be used in the context of modern-day dating. It is the exclusive time duration between getting to know that a romantic interest exists and you achieving the final goal. So supposedly you meet someone whose LTV  is high and you want to date them for a substantial time, the lead time is bound to be more. You would like to know that person better before getting into a long-term commitment with them. Also in India, if one takes the setup of the arranged marriage setup, generally via the matrimonial apps, it generally takes a couple of years before you end up with the right person. An important insight is if you are hoping to get into a meaningful relationship with someone, take a substantial lead time so that you can get to know them better as a person to gauge the potential compatibility. Basing such a decision on the tags or the filtered life on social or the aesthetic appeal isn’t advisable. Small acts like opening the door or the way they interact with someone who can’t give a rebuttal (eg. a waiter) tells a lot about the person. So take your time, there is no best deal which is running away.  And if it’s running away then it anyway won’t stick so it is better to let it run away now than later. Although, in case you are seeking a casual encounter, JIT is the scenario. As highlighted in the dating matrix, if physical gratification is all you seek from someone, the lesser the small talk, the better. JITs can be the case of a one-night stand at a bar with someone you have just met. On dating apps that are inorganic by design and with easy ghosting, a number of guys express interest in a girl’s profile with the hope of a casual encounter. An insightful takeaway is that the aim in such a case should be to decrease the lead time and interact in person rather than over screens. Getting a kiss emoji in a text doesn’t mean much. That brings me to the Uber story, it was quite close to JIT because both of us weren’t looking for anything serious. Another time, I got acquainted well with a co-passenger in an Uberpool ride, which was an ideal JIT. In the context of small talk, we don’t even know each others’ names. Later Sidhant

So sometime back I was at a client office to discuss a potential project. I was waiting for the manager in the cafeteria which was buzzing with the other employees. Suddenly, I heard someone call out my name and saw a girl approaching me. I didn’t recognize her, which is surprising especially because she is cute. I am not saying that I am shallow and just into the aesthetic appeal, but good looks are not easy to miss. She came to my table and my puzzled response was visible on my face. With a smile on her face in an inquisitive tone, she said: “You do standup, right?”. This is the moment every ‘artist’ awaits for; a fan! I was on cloud nine, the feeling was indescribable. I finally understood how celebrities feel when fans surround them in day to day lives. I started searching for a pen in my pockets and in an overwhelming tone said: “yeah, which show did you come for?”. She murmured,” Oh no, we met via a dating app, you came to my place and talked basically about your standup for the majority of the time”. And my celebrity life came crashing down just like that. Although, the bigger concern is how could I not remember meeting someone altogether. I mean I do live a rockstar life with endless parties, and women; but that is mostly just in my head. Anyhow, I covered up by saying “I am sure we had a great time, you seem amazing”. She rebuked with a straight face “Not really, I would have been better off without it”. Anyway, coming to the MBA concept of the ‘Anchoring Effect‘. In the early ’70s, behavioral economists had defined the term “anchoring”. It is basically the tendency to rely on the first information one receives and use that to make it an anchor in decision-making. Once the anchor is set, all decisions are made according to it, regardless of whether it makes sense or not. These anchors are all across the consumer market, some examples: supermarkets where they have 2 pricing labels showing (as if “by mistake”) the older price and the current one; when buying a car – the initial price offered to be the anchor. Even in the job market, this happens when a potential employee’s compensation is anchored on his previous salary, thus not taking into account the competencies, role fitment, and the potential value to add to the company. That brings me to the deja vu girl, I ended up taking a project with the firm. Ironically, the same girl was in my team and I ended up working closely with her over the next couple of months. Turns out, she is quite fun and a lively person; we ended up becoming great friends. So much so for the anchor of online dating platforms. In fact, another team member met the guy she is engaged to be married with via a dating app, a couple of years back. I met people off apps and realized if one wants a substantial connection, in the long run, letting it build up organically is the best way to go about it. Such apps are a great way to meet new people and then go forth with it, according to mutual interest. Given how the world has virtualized in the past decade, such apps are probably a new way for millennials to make a human connection. Especially, right now with the COVID outbreak, use the online platforms to filter through potential dates, interact with like-minded individuals, network, make new friends, and who knows maybe swipe right into your ‘happily ever after’ life. Later, Sidhant

So I was at a cafe, it was 11 in the night and the place was quite buzzing with people. I was standing by the bar and retrospecting on how it’s been over a decade of dating but I still end up interacting with the most aesthetically appealing girls at bars. Although the whole world riding on the digital wave, not much has changed here. Just then a girl came along with her friend to the bar counter to order her drink. The reason I noticed her amongst the numerous other girls was her beautiful blue eyes. But that was just the tip of the iceberg, every part of her from the nose to the lips to the body was quintessentially crafted. Just then, she looked towards me and smiled. At first, I couldn’t believe it. It was when after a minute, she looked at me and smiled again is when I knew that God finally answered my prayers. I went up to her and we immediately hit it off. She invited me to join her at the table with her friends. It was a fun discussion of everything from the Taj Mahal to how a starfish can multiply into hundreds if it enters a turbine blade of a submarine. I didn’t notice how hours passed away just by her side, and it was time for the bar to close for the night. Anyway, coming to the MBA concept of ‘Hyperbolic Discounting‘. Hyperbolic discounting is a time-inconsistent model of delay discounting and is one of the cornerstones of behavioral economics. In a study, subjects said they would be indifferent between receiving $15 immediately or $30 after 3 months, $60 after 1 year, or $100 after 3 years. These indifferences reflect annual discount rates that declined from 277% to 139% to 63% as delays got longer. This is a bias that a lot of us often end up falling prey to in modern-day dating as well. Choosing a ‘good time’ over a ‘good thing’, especially with the dating apps gamifying the whole concept of dating. It essentially boils down to choosing dopamine over oxytocin, the two chemicals of happiness involved in inter-personal connections. Dopamine rush is the tempting high-calorie Italian meal. The issue is that dopamine is for the short run and can’t be sustained for longer periods of time. You need oxytocin to balance out for the drop in dopamine. And oxytocin can be fostered by only investing in deeper emotional connections with your romantic partner. Thus, although a ‘good time’ might give an instant high, over the long run a ‘good thing’ gives long-lasting happiness. We often fall prey to hyperbolic discounting when faced with this choice and have to make an instant decision. That brings me to the blue-eyed damsel. So is this it? Did I finally find the ‘good thing’? Well, the reason for her blue eyes, and the Taj Mahal discussion, is because she is Irish and was visiting India and heading to Agra the next day. Ironically though, she was staying in the Taj hotel, and the night was definitely a great time and even with the hyperbolic discounting will remain high on value decades later. Later, Sidhant