So recently I was at the place of an adorably cute lawyer working in a litigation firm. I mean essentially if she would just say ‘please’ and pass her puerile smile. that should be enough to get an agreement with the other party. Her positive vibe is almost contagious and felt like I was with a proton. Given that I am more of an electron (negativity/ cynicism), me getting magnetically attracted towards her makes complete sense. I mean she came across as so innocent that I could never have trust issues or doubt her. That adds up given that she is a nester (Churn Rate~ 1). In fact, one of her few relationships started in school days and lasted for nine years.
Our conversations were ecstatic from the outset. We were sharing fun memes and amazing songs. In fact, she even sent me a meme of a guy dedicating a playlist to a girl and asked me if I would that much effort into her. I told her that what the guy did had nothing proprietary or customized about it. He could have sent it to 20 different girls, and his 20 friends could have sent to 20 more each. On the other hand, what I have done on this site for almost a decade is customized and hand-crafted by me personally for each and every muse and has my own art, sweat, and tears behind it.
She had just one request before the date, to just wear casuals as she would be wearing her night suit. Being in the litigation team of a law firm, she was wearing formals all day and wanted to give her body a breather. And I was like, I go to even bars in shorts so just relax, I can never be overdressed. We planned on watching the Netflix series, Bold Type. She wanted to watch the latest season of Money Heist initially, but I haven’t watched it ever. This is ironic given that I had already watched Bold Type twice over. So much so for gender-based stereotyping.
As soon as I hugged her, I sensed the immense positivity and warmth. Just to give a visual depiction, she has the perfect ‘girl next door’ looks. We started off by listening to some songs, and when I put on my playlist, she was like this sounds so depressing (me being an electron, it suits me). She asked me whether I liked Justin Bieber. I actually didn’t know how to answer that since I was so lost in her company, it took five seconds to recall who Justin Bieber was? She requested me to play a specific song by him
The rest of the night was one of the most fun experiences I have had since coming back to India earlier this year. The encounter was definitely a first in a lot of ways, including the spontaneous thumb fight challenge in bed. Also, surprise catchup with an IIM Ahmedabad who I hadn’t seen in over 4 years. As it turns out, he is dating her flatmate, and in fact, he gave a great elevator pitch for me to her. My favorite part was when she was cuddled up watching Netflix and told me not to mind if she fell asleep. This is the kind of warmth I had been missing all my life. Although, she had a long and tiring day and was working the next day; I just didn’t want to leave her side and left finally at 5 in the morning.
Anyway, coming to the MBA concept of ‘Arbitrations‘, taught in the first-year course of law during MBA. It is a form of strategic negotiation used as a way to resolve disputes outside the judiciary courts. Arbitration is most commonly used for the resolution of commercial disputes as an alternative to litigation, a process that involves going through the route of courts.
Parties often seek to resolve disputes through arbitration because of a number of perceived potential advantages over judicial proceedings. Companies often require arbitration with their customers but prefer the advantages of courts in disputes with competitors.
A number of useful insights can be drawn in the context of modern-day dating from the concept of arbitrations.
Firstly, the stronger your BATNA, the more strategically you are positioned at the arbitration table. Essentially, if your next best alternative even in the case the date doesn’t work out is good enough then you won’t act out of fear or desperation or a people-pleasing mindset.
Secondly, unlike litigations, it isn’t a judgment passed by a court of law, one can revisit the decision at a mutually agreeable time frame for both parties; chances of sunk cost fallacy are low. Essentially, the difference between marriages versus live-in/ long-term relationships. People continue in unhappy/ toxic marriages for a lot longer because of the legal constraints and cultural inertia.
Thirdly, since the decision-making is a lot faster so it helps in saving on crucial time. ‘ Your time in this world is limited, the people aren’t’.
But there is a flip side to this, people sometimes go back and in retrospection regret what they agreed to at the moment owing to brand seduction. Thus the chances of backing out also become more.
That brings me to the proton. So is this it? Have I found my customized playlist for life? Has this cute litigator helped me finally resolve my complex dispute with love? Have I found my proton to complete our atom?
Well, she distanced herself from me over the next few days and finally came back with a message saying that she can’t stay in touch anymore and wished me a great life ahead.
The song that she earlier sent me, stuck with me though.
Later,
Sidhant
P.S.- A few months later, I found the perfect place after months of futile search. I had a quick word with one of the flatmates and immediately rushed to lock in the place. On my way, I get a call back from that flatmate telling me that I have been to that place before as the other flatmate was the litigator. And so my quests for both the perfect landing page and love remain unfulfilled.
