So, recently I went out on a date at a bar. As explained in the landing page post, I don’t do that. But in this case, I made an exception for a couple of reasons. Firstly, we agreed to meet at the bar, but post that just go with the flow; and take the date to wherever we feel. Secondly, she is quite gorgeous.
As soon as I saw her walking towards me, the second point was ingrained even deeper. With her ethereal looks, glossy cheeks, cute pink top, model-like height, and the quintessential warmth from the first hug itself; it felt like one of the best exceptions that I ever made.
At 8 PM, the first bar was full, and so was the second. We finally got a table, and I ordered my usual—rum and Diet Coke. Back to the date: it wasn’t just her looks, but her infectious laugh that made me forget my worries. I kept complimenting her, and she joked, “If this is you after one drink, what about two?” Her natural pink glow wasn’t from makeup—she even saw a cosmetologist about it, and I wondered why.
I loved our banter; her ‘player’ accusations on me made me feel that someone cares.. But given the jam-packed bar, the loud music noise, and all the reasons that I don’t meet out for dates, we called for the check and decided to head out within twenty minutes.
I don’t think I have ever held hands with a date in public before this walk with her towards the lift and then towards her car. The lift was in the opposite direction though, and I could have taken the route straight towards her car instead. Post getting a bit acquainted, as happens in these situations, I made a split-second decision to book the nearest hotel since we just had an hour. She had to head back to her parents’ house post that.
Anyway, coming to the MBA concept of ‘Brand Seduction‘. It talks about how brands need to target the subconscious rather than the cognitive ability of the mind to appeal to the target market. Many neuroscientists believe that over 90% of what our brain does isn’t available to consciousness. I won’t go into the intrinsic detailing of why one always makes decisions basis the gut feeling or the difference between emotions and feelings.
We can draw a couple of useful insights in the context of modern-day dating.
Similar to any brand, you need to seduce the subconscious mind of the potential partner to make them interested in you. Targeting with conscious messages like the aesthetic appeal or bank balance, or fancy degrees can only go that far. The closing the deal part doesn’t happen till they ‘feel it’s right’ aka the gut feeling. In matters of love, the subconscious has a much bigger role to play. The fancy degrees, the aesthetics, or the well-paying jobs might get you through some dating pre-filters. But, one can’t rationally woo someone into falling for him/her. One can’t argue it or use well-reasoned, logical points. It has to come from within the subconscious. That is why singers end up being so lucky with the women, music appeals to the subconscious.
That brings me to the glossy-faced girl. So is this it? Have I found the contagious laughter to make me forget all my pains? Has my heart finally found its long-lost home?
The nearby hotel turned out to be shady, and instead of a double room, we got one with two single beds and a partition. We couldn’t join them, which made for an awkward night.
Despite it being good by India’s standards, it felt like one of my worst performances. By my usual standards, it dented my self-worth. She later called it a one-night stand, acknowledging the brand seduction, as I often play the philanderer.
And since I am a ‘player’, it shouldn’t matter to me.The truth is, it matters—not just for my self-worth, but because I genuinely liked her warmth and genuineness.
4o mini And so I am back to my only home all along, heartfelt writing.
Later,
Sidhant
