So, recently I went out on a date at a bar. As explained in the landing page post, I don’t do that. But in this case, I made an exception for a couple of reasons. Firstly, we agreed to meet at the bar, but post that just go with the flow; and take the date to wherever we feel. Secondly, she is quite gorgeous.
As soon as I saw her walking towards me, the second point was ingrained even deeper. With her ethereal looks, glossy cheeks, cute pink top, model-like height, and the quintessential warmth from the first hug itself; it felt like one of the best exceptions that I ever made.
It was 8 in the evening, and the first bar we went to didn’t have any tables left. I mean, people in Delhi-NCR have evolved into super humans who can’t get affected by COVID-19. We went to another bar, but even that was jam packed. Fortunately, we did get a table and ordered the first round of drinks. I have a standard drink across years, across cities, a rum, and diet coke. It is less for the rum, more for the diet coke. But since my drinking preferences aren’t a matter of discussion for this site, we’ll get back to the date. So it wasn’t just her adorable looks, but even her puerile laughter was so contagious that it made me forget all my troubles. I might have complimented her every few minutes. She said, “If this is your state after one round, I don’t know what it’ll be after two more”. Her face was naturally pink and not because of any makeup. In fact, she went to a cosmologist for getting it checked. And I was like, but why?
I loved our banter; her ‘player’ accusations on me made me feel that someone cares.. But given the jam-packed bar, the loud music noise, and all the reasons that I don’t meet out for dates, we called for the check and decided to head out within twenty minutes.
I don’t think I have ever held hands with a date in public before this walk with her towards the lift and then towards her car. The lift was in the opposite direction though, and I could have taken the route straight towards her car instead. Post getting a bit acquainted, as happens in these situations, I made a split-second decision to book the nearest hotel since we just had an hour. She had to head back to her parents’ house post that.
Anyway, coming to the MBA concept of ‘Brand Seduction‘. It talks about how brands need to target the subconscious rather than the cognitive ability of the mind to appeal to the target market. Many neuroscientists believe that over 90% of what our brain does isn’t available to consciousness. I won’t go into the intrinsic detailing of why one always makes decisions basis the gut feeling or the difference between emotions and feelings.
A couple of useful insights can be drawn in the context of modern-day dating. Similar to any brand, you need to seduce the subconscious mind of the potential partner to make them interested in you. Targeting with conscious messages like the aesthetic appeal or bank balance or fancy degrees can only go that far. The closing the deal part doesn’t happen till they ‘feel it’s right’ aka the gut feeling. In matters of love, the subconscious has a much bigger role to play. The fancy degrees, the aesthetics, or the well-paying jobs might get you through some dating pre-filters. But, one can’t rationally woo someone into falling for him/her. One can’t argue it or use well-reasoned, logical points. It has to come from within the subconscious. That is why singers end up being so lucky with the women, music appeals to the subconscious.
That brings me to the glossy-faced girl. So is this it? Have I found the contagious laughter to make me forget all my pains? Has my heart finally found its long-lost home?
Well, the split-second decision outcome- the nearby hotel, turned out to be shady. And to top it up, they didn’t have a double bedroom left. Instead, we had to make do with a room that had two single beds, but a partition table in the middle. They couldn’t be joined together as the innovator in me had presumed while agreeing to the room. Given that both of us are tall, the logistics of the events in bed ended up nothing less than a nightmare. After less than two weeks of one of my best performances, this turned out to be one of the most terrible ones. I mean it still was amazing according to external benchmarks of India as I am quite selfless in bed and also good at it. But, by my historic benchmarks, my entire self-worth got in jeopardy. Her decision for that night was purely brand seduction, as I as a brand portray a philanderer archetype. In fact, in a conversation a few days after that, she said that let us be mature adults and treat it as what it was; a one-night stand.
And since I am a ‘player’, it shouldn’t matter to me. But the truth is that it does matter; less for my restoring self-worth and more because I genuinely liked her warmth and genuineness. And so I am back to my only home all along, heartfelt writing.
Later,
Sidhant
