So, most Delhi bars don’t allow stag boys and dogs. The British left these bouncers behind at independence to remind Indian men of discrimination, while women face it everywhere else; Feminism 101. Logically, if I have a girl with me, why would I endure loud music and shout just to speak? I prefer to stay indoors, preferably in private settings, and just chill.
People here don’t understand the difference between conversation and harassment, so they banned me. If you’re just talking to the same four people, why overpay for the experience economy? Rent a BnB or hotel for less and enjoy privacy, real conversations, and your own music. If you’re single and always complaining about not finding anyone, ditch the apps and interact offline. Stop seeking temporary validation from friends who aren’t even true friends. You reject the one decent guy who compliments you, then file complaints, ruining his evening. Meanwhile, Dalbeer takes out his frustration, missing workouts and getting scolded by his wife. Karma will catch up with you.
For ‘research purposes’ (my efforts deserve a Booker prize), I’ve been testing a new technique, all thanks to technology. For social media publicity, most of these bars repost Instagram stories, mostly of good-looking girls who visited the previous night. So, I messaged those girls that it was great meeting them. I tested several techniques, and the highest response rate came from sending: “Hey, it was great meeting you last night.” Hope you got home safely. :)”.
Lock your profile with a catchy bio (mentioning pedigree if applicable) and a long-shot photo where your face isn’t fully visible (see mine on Instagram – Sidhants139). This approach establishes credibility while simultaneously building an enigma with the locked profile. The “got home safely” message boosts oxytocin and earns you brownie points, increasing response rates. Also, keep your profile updated with fun activity photos, as it acts as your elevator pitch if you get a reply.
After countless non-replies, messages from bored housewives, college girls seeking quick money, and bots, I finally hit the royal flush. It was a girl who met all my pre-filters. The girls meeting my pre-filters are common in cities like Delhi and Bombay, where I’ve spent most of my life, but she is much more than that.
She was interested in me, unlike most girls who meet my pre-filters but either don’t notice me or aren’t interested (trust me, I’ve tried all my life). During our initial conversations, when I shared this website link, she said, “You have a good pedigree, work in the corporate space, and are fun too! “How are you still single?!?”
The truth is, I overwhelm girls. Even when they show interest, I chase them so hard that they back off, stop replying, and block me. They feel, “This guy barely knows me, so why is he so into me and always available?”. They think, “He barely knows me, I’ve done nothing for him, so why is he so into me and always available”? Is he not worthy enough? There must be something innately wrong with him and it is best not to engage with him. My chase mentality stems from impatience, a scarcity mindset (thinking I won’t find someone like her again), and a lack of self-worth.
Secondly, she has achieved something that most people can’t even dream of achieving. She lost almost half her body weight, from 175 lbs, becoming an Instagram influencer paid by brands to promote their products. I relate to her transformation closely—not just because of the accident or my work in transformation, but also because I once lost 35 kgs in two months for a girl. I went from 100 kilos to 64.5 kilos (underweight for my 6-foot frame) as she preferred lean guys.
4o mini And what happened then? Did we live happily ever after? Well, she dumped me for my best friend who she was into all along.
Even this girl lost so much because she was in love with a guy, and when finally she had the courage to express her feelings to him, he body-shamed her. And then this transformation to someone who thousands of guys follow on Instagram, just to have a word with her. Her before/after pictures leave anyone who sees them amazed and in total awe, be it a guy or a girl. It is similar to that of Sara Ali Khan, only a lot more drastic.
The primary difference between change and transformation is that transformation is drastic/ radical. A huge influx of dopamine fuels it, pointing to the obvious fact that her target group (TG) is dopamine-driven. Since I am the poster boy for dopamine, I knew we would connect on much deeper levels.
After a few conversations, we decided (well, she decided, I agreed) to meet over the weekend. She suggested a cafe, but I wasn’t keen on the wine-and-dine ritual. Instead, we hugged for the first time, and I felt a unique warmth and peace. We connected deeply on all three parameters of the triangular model (intellectual, emotional, physical). It was a first in many ways: meeting at a bar in the day, the flowers, even using the washroom. We met a few more times, and as my birthday approached, she brought me chocolates, a cake, and an exquisite perfume.
Time in her company just flew by, I just couldn’t get enough of her and wanted to see her all the time, no matter whether it is a weekend or even a weekday. I just couldn’t get her out of my head. I was craving to hear from her, even if it was just a message. And people who have ever interacted with me, know how much I hate texting. I guess this is what the butterflies in the stomach phase all about and I just couldn’t concentrate on anything/ anyone other than her. She was on my mind the whole time.
Anyway, coming to the MBA concept of ‘Sales Funnel‘. My birthday was coming up the next week. She gave me countless chocolate-overloaded delicacies, a cake, and an exquisite perfume. While you may market your products or services to thousands of people, only a small percentage will provide contact information and become leads. Of those leads, only a fraction will become clients.
- Awareness Phase – in which prospects become aware of the existence of a solution.
- Discovery Phase – in which prospects demonstrate an interest in a product by conducting product research.
- Consideration Phase – in which prospects examine competitors’ solutions as they inch toward a final buying decision and negotiation begins.
- Conversion Phase – in which the products/services are purchased.
- Customer Relationship and Retention Phase – in which a customer repurchases a product or service.
Sales funnel used across industries to sell products/services or to scout potential candidates in the job market. Customer retention is easier than acquiring new customers. This is why apps offer deep discounts for renewals and jobs provide pay hikes. All to prevent you from quitting, saving them the time and money of going through the entire process again. Customer Acquisition Cost (CAC) is much higher than customer retention cost.
We can replicate the sales funnel in the modern-day dating context. The awareness phase is where the potential date gets to know about you. A number of ways are possible in the offline (mutual friends, office, gym) as well as online (dating apps, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, LinkedIn, et al) space. Staying in a cosmopolitan city near your TG (Target Market) and maximizing offline interactions is a good way to ace this stage. However, with the influx of technology, the awareness phase mostly happens via apps. It is most dating apps but at times even social media apps like Instagram, similar to what I did in this case. For the discovery phase to materialize, offline interactions drastically speed things up.
You also need to do a competitive analysis to figure out the potential date’s BATNA and sharpen your USP by that. Also, across the whole process, we should space the lead time across various phases. We should minimize it for the awareness and discovery phase, but we shouldn’t rush into the consideration phase if the customer’s LTV is significant. If the aim is a casual encounter, we should use the scarcity principle to close the deal.
Also, post-conversion, maintain cordial ties and focus on having good customer relationships, even if it means going out of your way to do things their way, as customer retention is a lot easier than new customer acquisition.
On the flip side, if you are the customer, don’t end up falling for the sunk cost fallacy and feel that the guy has changed. As highlighted in MVP, you can’t expect a wheel to convert into a car over time by progression, you need to move on and fail fast but fail forward.
Over the years, I’ve spent most of my time in the awareness phase (mutuals, gym, coffee shops, bars, apps, supermarkets) but haven’t had any substantial relationships (retention phase). Someone recently pointed out that I rush from awareness/discovery to conversion too quickly, causing many dropouts.
That brings me to the transformational girl. Have my days of failure ended? Is this peace and love life transformation? As I mentioned, I chase too hard due to impatience, scarcity mindset, and lack of self-worth. This works for casual encounters, but for something substantial, the process takes time. High dopamine drives and churn rates mean physical intimacy doesn’t guarantee conversion. Though she showed interest in the discovery phase, my impatience drove her away. For example, I called her four times on my birthday morning. She said I was too impatient, and we should part ways. I guess having sex is easy, but having feelings is tough. So, I turn to my old companion, heartfelt writing, for closure once again.
Later,
Sidhant
