dating

So, a few weeks back, after over a decade of turning the legal age for marriage and countless failed attempts (through mutual connections, dating apps, social media, chatrooms, bars, clubs, gyms, cafes, supermarkets, flights, and even Volvo buses) to find my life partner organically, I finally embraced the traditional arranged marriage route—a time-honoured Indian matchmaking strategy that has helped countless people find their “happily ever after. Some quick insights on the go-to-market (GTM) strategy in the arranged marriage market. The primary audience here is the parents of the prospects. People believe that, regardless of class, caste, creed, or religion, one occasion when Indians often spend lavishly—sometimes even taking on debt—is their child’s wedding. There are two channels to enter this market: 1) Offline– This happens via mutual of parents/ relatives/ close family friends; family’s social network. For decades, marriages in India traditionally followed this way. A slightly more structured way here is via marriage brokers. Mumbai-based Seema Tapadia recently gained the limelight through the Netflix show “Indian Matchmaking“. Different parts of the country have different renowned offline matchmakers. For example, in the case of New Delhi, one of the more famous ones is by the name Sycorian. Business families use such brokers (MSME owners in India) or in some cases generation corporates (parents were in a business setup). 2) Online– Digitization disrupted the Indian arranged marriage market long before it transformed the global dating market. In the 1990s, with the internet boom, many players entered the fragmented high-ticket-sized Indian matrimonial market to streamline it with technology. Three major players stood the test of time for decades and have been the incumbent of millions of Indian weddings across the globe. They are: a) Shaadi b) Jeevansathi c) Bharatmatrimony Jeevansathi is where I met her. Not her, but her mom as parents usually arrange marriages in India. I had a brief conversation with her mother, and she invited me to her place as they live less than a kilometre away in South Delhi from my present flat. Since it was Sunday, I suggested that I could visit that day itself since I had bandwidth. Her mother said that the girl was going out with her sister that day, but anytime post seven in the evening on Monday (the next day) would work for them. Despite being a Monday, I said “7:30 it is”. The next day and a half was a roller coaster of emotions for me. This girl met all my prerequisites and more. There is a concept in Hindu marriages of matching certain stars in the guy and girl’s astrological charts. Astrologers match a total of 36 aspects in the horoscope. The higher the score, the more compatible the match. Although I am a ‘first-principles approach’ guy and am not a believer of astrology et al, still our score was a whopping 32 out of 36 on this! In essence, meaning highly compatible or destined to be together. As I am ahead of the curve, in the past mainstream people in this society have suggested that I should probably see a psychologist. I have just been too cheap to spend the money. Also, paying someone to talk to me is such a disrespect to my entire intellect. Anyway, guess what this girl does? She is a practising clinical psychologist. What are the odds? I had even prepared a joke for my next standup about ‘seeing a therap+ist’ (dating a person who by profession is a clinical psychologist). Imagine, the millions I could save and make with calmness in my mind. Monday evening finally arrived, and I couldn’t remember the last time I felt this excited. Butterflies fluttered in my stomach as I made my way to her house. When I arrived, her mom greeted me warmly at the door and welcomed me into their beautifully designed living room, where her dad sat waiting. The elegant interior caught my attention, and I couldn’t help but compliment the thoughtful decor. After a few moments of pleasant conversation, her mom called her, and the anticipation grew. In a second, I realized what I had been missing my whole life. And the best part is that till now, I didn’t even know her name. She walked into the room wearing a traditional Indian suit. And I am not even kidding, but she could have easily been a poster model for that suit on billboards all over the country. Certain people shine in certain clothes, and it was as if the suit came to life when she wore it. Not just the suit, but the entire room seemed to fill with an uplifting aura. I continued the conversation with the parents. In fact, I would have spoken five times more than all three of them combined. So much so for first-time jitters. After some time, the parents went to the other room and I continued to converse with the girl. I suggested that we take a walk. We went to a nearby park, and it was definitely a walk to remember. First, off the bat, I guess I told her multiple times how pretty she was looking, especially her facial features. And she was like, “Hadn’t you seen my photos?”. Well, she looked a lot more gorgeous in person. She’s an advanced yoga practitioner with incredible dedication. She attended international schools throughout her life and trained in various dance forms, including Latin ballroom, jazz, and contemporary. On top of that, she works out seven days a week and has a knack for creative DIY projects like pottery. When she asked me about my hobbies, I paused for a moment before sheepishly replying, “Well… I love to sleep.” She then asked me what exactly I was looking for in a marriage. I replied, “I am looking for calmness in life”. Given my lifelong keen love for psychology, we discussed almost everything I knew in the field, from Maslow’s Hierarchy to Herzberg two factor theory. Time in her company just flew away, we completed countless rounds