2020 had been quite unpleasantly surprising by far. Not getting into the detailing and sticking to the genre of the site, one of the emergent trends is DFH (Date from Home). All the dating apps are trying to cash in on it by introducing features like video calling, picture sharing, etc. But there is one major flaw in that approach, for basic chemicals of love (oxytocin and more importantly dopamine), you need in-person interactions. So all these chats and video calls are a good way to kill boredom, but have quite a low LTV. That is why a landing page is more necessary now as no one in the whole world knows how long this pandemic situation prevails.
Delhi Heights
So recently, I was at the place in every Indian parent’s dreams, a civil servant’s home. To clarify, it was a date with an IPS officer’s daughter at their place while her dad was away. Perched atop a Delhi high-rise, the glass walls offered a bewitching night view of the city. It makes one realise how minuscule personal concerns and worries are in comparison to the bigger scheme of things.
She was one of the rare women who looked better in person than in photos—no filters needed. Dressed in a chic brown Burberry dress with matching wedges, rimmed glasses, and hairstreaks, even her surroundings matched her aesthetic. She greeted me in a face mask, making the moment oddly memorable. We had a lot in common, and time flew by as we talked on her balcony overlooking Delhi. She runs a medical venture, lives in Delhi, and her proud mention of the ‘Stanley’ sofa felt oddly cute with her innocent smile.
Anyway, coming to the MBA concept of ‘Denominator Neglect‘. It focuses on how often something happens (numerator) while ignoring how often it could happen (denominator).
I still remember during my brand marketing stint with Mondelez, we ran a scratch and win a year’s supply of Cadbury Silk contest as an activation campaign.
Marketers on a mass scale highlight the winners to prompt more sales but at the same time astutely leave out the minuscule percentage of the number of units with the winning code.
In fact, the Indian media industry is majorly exploiting denominator neglect, where they single out a particular case/individual for more TRPs while conveniently overlooking the macroscopic issues.
Denominator neglect has widespread applications in the context of modern-day dating. Another phrase for it is, ‘ plenty of fish in the sea‘. You’ll meet around eighty thousand people in your life out of the more than seven billion there in this world. ‘Your time in this world is limited, the people aren’t‘. Denominator neglect is the biggest reason for numerous individuals spending years in miserable relationships due to sunk cost fallacy. It is also a big cause that so many bear the unreasonable lead time of their ‘crushes’ to finally see them go with someone else.
Just a couple of pointers,
Firstly identify your TG and USP, knowledge of self is the highest form of knowledge.
Secondly, age demographics play a big role, especially for men. Also, these are in the context of India, for the western countries, you can add five years as a rule of thumb.
A considerable number of girls from late teens to mid-twenties spend the majority of their leisure time battling macroscopic issues (patriarchy, government, misogyny, etc.) where they have little to no control. The remaining few have belief in the Cinderella story of Prince Charming.
Mid-twenties to the early thirties go in microscopic issues and societal pressure of ‘settling down’. Most potential dates are looked at as tags (educational pedigree, well-paying profession, plush lifestyle) they bring to the table and whether those tags are worth a lifetime commitment.
Women in the early thirties to late thirties on dates are in a fading hope of a happily ever after, in most cases for the second time around.
Also, practicality is directly and lead time is inversely proportional to age.
They may not be applicable to each and every case but archetyping always helps. By the age of 40, you’ll meet every person who is there in this world. You’ll either meet the person or their archetype (KF4D). There is no point in wasting your time crying over your crush/ex. There are countless like him/her.
That brings me to the ‘Stanley’ sofa date. Was this the one? After years of dating in Delhi, had I finally found the right match? She felt like the order my chaotic life needed. I usually avoid dating engineers or Indian MBAs—they think in binaries, reflect skewed gender norms, and remind me of my own past. Dating is supposed to be an escape, not a mirror. Though she did her master’s at an Ivy League school, she was still a top-tier Indian engineer. Plus, she lived across the city with her mom—logistics could be tricky. Still, our conversation was sharp and full of laughter. We said goodbye after a warm night—her in my arms, city lights glowing through the glass wall.
Later,
Sidhant
