Author name: Sidhant

So, after reading some of these dating stories a girl termed me as the ‘Ranbir Kapoor of masses’. I’m not sure if it was a genuine compliment, mockery, or just flattery, but the validation felt good. I can’t imagine what it’s like to be a woman in a world of effortless compliments, perks like doors opening, fancy cars, clubs, and free drinks. On a serious note, though, everyone needs to be the lead protagonist of their own life. I kept the conversation light and suggested meeting up to “know each other better,” since I’m not a fan of texting. She got the hint but was looking for something different and living with her parents, so I didn’t push further. A few months later, I put a LinkedIn post of mine in my social media stories (validation enthusiast). She replied to it on WhatsApp complimenting it and even drawing insightful analogies in other domains of life. As we started talking, she enquired about my plans for that weekend. She booked a room in a 5-star hotel for a ceremony and other tasks over the next few days, just to change the scenery while in the city.She inquired if I was free to meet. Now, I am a JIT guy with no friends or substantial connections so obviously I had no plans. And even if I did, do you think I would have said no to such a rush of dopamine just from the anticipatory joy? We decided to meet later that night and as I am not into the whole wine and dine ritual of the experience economy, decided to drop by her room with some liquor and Diet Coke. I was on my way to her hotel around 10 and got a message from her. She said she needed my help in resolving an issue and I might have to wait in the hotel lobby for a few minutes. I got really curious. As soon as she opened the door, I felt a gush of warmth in her presence. And it wasn’t just her effortless yet spectacular dressing sense or her gorgeous eyes or even her glowing skin. It was the entire vibe that was totally mesmerizing. Also, the issue was that while she was combing her hair, the comb got entangled in them quite badly. She was all tensed up and was trying to get it out endlessly. The next few hours were some of the most spontaneously fun hours spent on a first date. From trying to figure out the right direction to move the comb to google ways to remove the comb to my suggestion of putting peanut butter on the hair (Office reference). While chatting over drinks we tried almost everything (except obviously the peanut butter). We even broke the comb’s bottom part to lessen the weight on her head. And finally, the quest ended when I decided to use my teeth and break apart the comb’s bristles stuck in the hair while she untangled the strands. Victory! So needless to say, it was quite an unexpected rollercoaster of a start. She definitely felt thankful to me for actually even chewing the bristles of a comb out for her and felt that she would have most likely cried herself to sleep that night had the comb not been removed. We next decided to have some dinner and post that watch something on Netflix. Choosing what to watch actually took us longer than actually watching it. Our attention got diverted by other matters. Anyway, as she had a long day so we ended up sleeping within a few hours. She also likes to cuddle like me. In fact, it is my favorite thing to do in bed, and she said that she’s a ‘cuddle monster’ who just loves it. She is quite a peaceful sleeper and although I got up from a 12-hour sleep just a few hours back, in her warm and cozy company I was fast asleep again. Anyway, coming to the MBA concept of the ‘KF4D‘. After my MBA, I joined a consulting firm that specializes in the talent strategy domain. One of the insightful learning was the 4 parameters of gauging a person by the concept of KF4D (Korn Ferry 4 Dimensional Assessment). The four quadrants are competencies, experiences, traits, and drivers. It helps in sketching the archetype of an individual and drawing the reasoning for all the decisions made and actions taken by them. The reason why someone senior at your firm or HR during an interview asks about family is a lot more than just small talk. Family ecosystem and childhood are the hypnosis stage of life (first 7 years)  and shape the drivers and traits majorly. KF4D offers a number of useful insights into the modern-day dating context. Most people make dating decisions based on the top two: competencies (education pedigree, job, etc.) and experience (primarily age, and previous relationship status). Be it the parents looking for matrimonial matches via an arranged marriage, or people swiping on dating platforms. People use pedigree and salary as primary filters to judge a potential partner. yThat might be a big reason for a number of broken relationships. When it comes to a serious relationship, make sure that you spend a substantial amount of time (real, not virtual) with the other person before going into the relationship. Gauge the bottom two during that time spent together. Observe traits through simple actions like how they treat waiters or offer to hold your bags. Also, ensure they aren’t flaky or overly ambitious, and can enjoy life’s little things. The tags don’t define people, not everyone going to a particular college would be similar. Despite attending top schools, I’m far from the ideal IIT-IIM stereotype, both as a person and as a romantic partner. My traits and drivers differ from the mainstream. At IIM Ahmedabad, I had no friends, so I vented to the free college counsellor who had to listen. Stop making decisions heavily based

This year began well—watched a Netflix movie on the wall, cuddled in a blanket with a cosmopolitan, well-travelled artist. Let me rewind a bit, I was talking to this girl who fits perfectly in my TG. She grew up in Dubai, then moved to the US to study fashion. We immediately hit it off and ended up catching up later the same night. I dropped by her flat. Anyhow, post the New year’s Eve incident, I categorically asked her to watch my fall video to prevent a similar mishappening. Thankfully, it didn’t, it was a cherish able movie night. And even though it was quite a badly directed movie, I just didn’t want it to end. Anyway, coming to the MBA concept of ‘MECE Principle‘. It is a grouping principle for separating a set of items into subsets that are mutually exclusive (ME) and collectively exhaustive (CE). It was developed at McKinsey & Company, one of the leading consulting firms in the world. The MECE principle is useful in the business mapping process, wherein the optimum arrangement of information is exhaustive and does not double count at any level of the hierarchy. One can create MECE arrangements by categorising people by their year of birth (assuming all years are known). Strategy consultants use MECE problem structuring to break down client problems into logical, clean buckets of analysis that they can then hand out as workstreams to consulting staff on the project. We can draw interesting insights about modern-day dating from the MECE principle. We can revisit the Triangular Model that talks about the three components of love. People categories dating and relationships into three mutually exclusive, collectively exhaustive (MECE) buckets: emotional intimacy, intellectual intimacy, and physical intimacy. Love feels complete when one person fulfills your intellectual, emotional, and physical needs—but it also breeds dependence. To avoid that, I’ve always split these across different people. It works, but takes a toll mentally. Most relationships need at least two of the three to last, which is why long-distance ones often don’t. That brings me to the fashion designer, So is this it? Have I finally found the one to fill colors in my grey life? Well, she is in a relationship with a fellow designer for the past five years. For the past year, they are in a long-distance relationship as he’s based in the US. Since they have a solid foundation with intellectual and emotional intimacy in place, they decided to open up the relationship in terms of physical intimacy. The night was quite memorable as watching a movie projected on her bedroom wall cozied up in a warm blanket on a chilly night was definitely a first. I mean she was watching the movie, and I was watching her. Though, I didn’t hear back from her post that night. Later, Sidhant

One of her sketches So, recently a girl was so impressed by this site, and the insights, that she regretted not coming across it earlier, would have saved a lot of her precious time. She even went on to compare my writing to that of the protagonist of the TV series ‘Sex and the City’, Carrie Bradshaw. I hadn’t seen the series and ended up at her place to watch it together over drinks. Her room had the perfect ambiance and lightning. That combined with her ethereal sketches, cute Harry Potter tattoos, and the wide array of drinks was exactly what I needed to get out of my recent low. We skipped the TV series and ended up listening to some soulful music. She is one of the few people with a similar dark and heartfelt playlist to mine. I could see a part of my iconoclastic self in her and didn’t even realize when the night passed away in her company. Anyway, coming to the MBA concept of the ‘Peak End Rule‘. It is a psychological tool that explains how people remember experiences in their lives. Instead of considering the average or sum of total experience, Peak-End Rule says that we remember the highest or lowest points of an experience and how it concluded. Behavioral Economists Daniel Kahneman and Barbara Frederickson in their 1993 study found that human memory is rarely a perfectly accurate record of events. We remember experiences in our lives as a series of snapshots rather than a complete catalog of events. AT&T runs busy stores and found that helping customers visualise the queue reduced anxiety and frustration. An employee greets each customer on arrival and adds them to a visible queue displayed throughout the store. This gives customers the freedom to browse or relax while they track when they’ll be served. The real improvement wasn’t the digital display but the change in behaviour—acknowledging customers’ rights as they enter. Research showed that this simple gesture significantly improved the experience. At checkout, employees walk customers out and shake their hands, reinforcing a positive final impression. Think about the last time you went on vacation. What do you remember? Perhaps you remembered a beautiful view from the top of a mountain. Maybe a morning on the beach with your family. You might also have pictured the moment when you thought of losing your passport. Your last vacation likely stood out for a few strong moments, whether happy or miserable. Experiences are mostly judged by their end or peaks. We judge an experience by its most intense point and its end, as opposed to the total sum or average of every moment of the experience. The Peak End rule can be applied in the context of modern-day dating. Have you ever had a relationship that ended terribly? You likely remember it negatively more because of how it ended than the relationship itself. If planning a vacation with your partner, an intense adventure-filled day trip full of high-intensity bursts of excitement (dopamine) may make as many positive memories as a week away at some far-off exotic destination with less to do. I haven’t had many relationships, but I mostly remember just the peak and the end of each. To the extent that in numerous memories, I don’t even remember the name of the girl. Like from the ‘elevator pitch’, I still remember matching the beats of that ten-minute long song with the teacher, or from ‘lead time’ I still remember the expression on that Uber driver’s face, or from ‘experience economy’ I remember her dropping me off to my place at the end of the date. You can put the insights when planning a date. Tap into empathy, end on a high, and make your date feel great about the experience. Studies show we remember moments of intense pleasure, even if those moments are sparse, more fondly than experiences where we are mildly comfortable throughout. You need to get high positive peaks in your interactions with a date. Including fun, spontaneity, and surprises in interactions to fuel up dopamine in the matrix is one of the best ways to create these positive peaks. Reserve the best and most fun moments towards the end of the event so that both of you walk away with warm fuzzy feelings. Most importantly, you need to remember that people remember negative experiences more vividly than positive ones. Emotionally charged moments of confusion and frustration create “peaks” and strongly shape what the person later remembers. That brings me to the ‘Sex and the City’ reference girl. So is this it? Have I finally found the rendition of my dark songs? Is my iconoclastic reflection finally in my life? As I left that morning, her washroom door auto-locked, and the interaction ended on a sour note. That combined with incompatibility in the bottom two quadrants of KF4D and lack of positive peaks, made the memory lackadaisical. Although that night with her beautiful sketches and Harry Potter tattoos would definitely imprint the positive peaks of the encounter in my memory for quite some time. Later, Sidhant

So the last night of 2020 perfectly summarised the entire year. At around 8 PM, I got a message from a woman saying ‘Drinks tonight?’. If a girl sends you this as her first message, you naturally get suspicious. But this time, I knew she was real—she had taught at my school and joined during my final years. Now I am someone who would never say no to such an offer due to the high expected NPV in terms of dopamine. I replied, ‘Definitely’. She called me right away and just asked how long I’d take to reach her. She shared her address, and I was there within an hour. I took some liquor along post the learning from the wine date incident that had happened years back. The night was quite memorable in a new aspect. Anyway, coming to the MBA concept of the ‘Association Principle ‘. It is a concept taught in the marketing courses at a b-school. It is a type of advertising technique that “associates a product with a positive cultural value or image”. The association principle links a brand to a specific attitude to persuade consumers. Firms commonly use it to better position their product in the minds of their target market. (TG). A well-known example is the age-old Cadbury’s India tagline of ‘Kuch meetha ho jaye’. In India, every occasion of celebration or festival is accompanied by the exchange of sweet delicacies. Cadbury tapped into the adult market by positioning Dairy Milk as a substitute for traditional Indian sweets. The association principle has interesting insight into the context of modern-day dating. People, especially in India associate a certain positive correlation with dating/matrimonial matches. They have a pre-conceived notion that guys from these college brands are the best matches in every sense. They just focus on the competency part and ignore the other three quadrants in KF4D (Experiences, Drivers, Traits). This leads to a huge expectation mismatch at later stages. If a guy is from a certain pedigree, it doesn’t warrant that he’ll act in a particular way or will be the best match. ‘Correlation doesn’t mean causation‘. That brings me to the date with my school teacher. Was this the tutoring I’d been waiting for? Post-accident, my balance was off, and when I showed up, she assumed I was drunk. She made up a story about her flatmate’s boyfriend having an accident, but the flatmate’s stifled laughter gave it away. I guessed she didn’t want to third-wheel and was swiping through matches—I’d just reached first. Sensing I wasn’t sober, she moved on, still in time to save her New Year’s. I left the liquor bottle and her last words, “I’ll get back to you,” summed up every HR mail of 2020. Later, Sidhant

So recently, I was with a girl who didn’t know my name before she met me. She just knew the nick, ‘Sid’. But we gelled so well over the phone that at one point in time, we were completing each other’s sentences. There was non-stop banter and laughs, combined with our crazy past dating stories. She is the only girl I have met whose ARR (Annual run rate) in terms of casual encounters for 2019 is more than mine. That is quite ironic because before 2019 her ARR was zero. The next day when we met, the chemistry took a whole new level. Time with her just flew by and I just didn’t want the encounter to end. Anyway, coming to the MBA concept of ‘Expected Net Present Value (NPV)‘. Finance courses at a B-school teach this concept. It is a capital budgeting technique that adjusts for uncertainty by calculating net present values under different scenarios and probability-weighting them to get the most likely NPV. Expected NPV is the sum of the product of NPVs under different scenarios and their relevant probabilities. We use the following formula to calculate the expected NPV. Expected NPV = Σ (p × Scenario NPV) Scenario NPV is the NPV under a specific scenario while p stands for the probability of occurrence of each scenario. For example, if a firm is evaluating an investment in the project. There are three scenarios: NPV (in million dollars)ProbabilityBest400.4Base300.2Worst100.4 Expected NPV = Best Case NPV × Probability of Best Case Scenario + Base Case NPV × Probability of Base Case Scenario + Worst Case NPV × Probability of Worst Case Scenario = 40 × 0.4 + 30 × 0.2 + 10 × 0.4 = 26 million dollars The expected NPV of the project is 26 million dollars. So the firm can decide accordingly whether it wants to go forward with the investment. The concept of expected NPV can be used in the context of modern-day dating to draw some interesting insights. When going on any date, you can calculate the NPV of the interaction in terms of expected happiness (dopamine and oxytocin) that can be gained out of it. It would also depend on your present state and primary chemical drivers. If you are looking for something long-term or have oxytocin as your primary driver, then you need to weigh the expected NPV of the oxytocin gained from that date. Here the LTV also has a vital role to play. As that date might build into exponentially higher oxytocin gains on later dates with the same person. If you are in a low state or casually dating or have dopamine as your primary dating driver, then you need to weigh the expected NPV of the dopamine gain from that date. That is the summation of the product of expected probabilities of various outcomes and the dopamine gain out of that outcome. An outcome could range from the date standing you up to the two of you having crazy, mind-numbing sex. That brings me to the girl who was completing my sentences. So, is this it? Have I finally found the second half of my sentence? Well, she is dating a guy seriously for the past few months, they just had a tiff that later got sorted and she is back with him. But, our bodies were like magnets that just didn’t want to let go of one another. That combined with her high drive in bed and an innate desire to please her partner made the dopamine index off the charts. It definitely made the encounter in one of the top five dopamine NPVs in over a decade of my dating life. Later, Sidhant

So, I had an encounter that was a first of its kind in many ways. Starting off with the latest trends, she had COVID some time back and recovered well. The wordplay game over texting was so enticing that we ended up meeting in just a few hours. The chemistry felt real, but I also sensed surprising familiarity the moment I sat in her car. It was a feeling that I had known her for years. Our bodies felt like long-lost magnets, and they just couldn’t get enough of each other. The MBA microeconomics course teaches the ‘Bandwagon Effect’: ideas spread faster as more people adopt them. As more people come to believe in something, others also “hop on the bandwagon” regardless of the underlying evidence. The image to the left is one example of an advertisement using the bandwagon effect. To get people’s attention, Nike says that “everyone” is buying their products. This ad uses availability heuristics, showing that people judge based on what’s top of mind. Nike suggests everyone uses their products, influencing consumers to buy if they want to fit in. Social and psychological factors drive investors to buy, pushing asset prices up through bandwagon effects. This effect caused the dot-com bubble, the 2008 housing crash, and others. You can use the bandwagon effect to draw crucial insights in modern-day dating. Peer pressure pushed many to quickly adopt dating apps despite doubts, and addictive dopamine bursts kept them hooked. We call this group-alignment behavior herd mentality. Also, you might be a great person: honest, funny, humble. kind et al, but in most cases, your elevator pitch won’t be made by you. It will be made by your social image; the mutual friends, colleagues, and most importantly, your social media profile. Social proof drives it, creating a halo effect that shapes your later interactions. Social media lets you smartly portray yourself however you want by filtering out unwanted aspects. If used sharply, it acts as a great tool for pull marketing and helps in bringing down the lead time considerably. You need to appear as a fun, social person whom others enjoy being around. Especially if you are a guy, being seen with other girls helps in portraying a stronger BATNA. But don’t overdo it, otherwise, it might backfire. I try to portray myself as an exuberant, nonchalant, iconoclastic guy to disassociate myself from the typical Indian image of the IIT IIM pedigree. That combined with a brief skimming of this site, makes me one of the worst bets for something substantial. I mean over a decade of dating with nothing lasting for longer than a few days indicates the obvious (words<actions<patterns). If she still decides to invest time in me, it’s on her. That brings me to the first COVID recovered date. So, is this it? Had I been missing this familiarity? Has my body finally found its magnet? Is this the first that’ll last? Well, she works in London with a globally leading bank and is an NRI. She was back in India to visit her family post her COVID recovery. She left back for London and I am not a subscriber of the long-distance relationship philosophy. Coming back to the first though, I hadn’t made out in the car in broad daylight or torn off the bedsheet due to the sheer rigor. Later, Sidhant

2020 had been quite unpleasantly surprising by far. Not getting into the detailing and sticking to the genre of the site, one of the emergent trends is DFH (Date from Home). All the dating apps are trying to cash in on it by introducing features like video calling, picture sharing, etc. But there is one major flaw in that approach, for basic chemicals of love (oxytocin and more importantly dopamine), you need in-person interactions. So all these chats and video calls are a good way to kill boredom, but have quite a low LTV. That is why a landing page is more necessary now as no one in the whole world knows how long this pandemic situation prevails. Delhi Heights So recently, I was at the place in every Indian parent’s dreams, a civil servant’s home. To clarify, it was a date with an IPS officer’s daughter at their place while her dad was away. Perched atop a Delhi high-rise, the glass walls offered a bewitching night view of the city. It makes one realise how minuscule personal concerns and worries are in comparison to the bigger scheme of things. She was one of the rare women who looked better in person than in photos—no filters needed. Dressed in a chic brown Burberry dress with matching wedges, rimmed glasses, and hairstreaks, even her surroundings matched her aesthetic. She greeted me in a face mask, making the moment oddly memorable. We had a lot in common, and time flew by as we talked on her balcony overlooking Delhi. She runs a medical venture, lives in Delhi, and her proud mention of the ‘Stanley’ sofa felt oddly cute with her innocent smile. Anyway, coming to the MBA concept of ‘Denominator Neglect‘. It focuses on how often something happens (numerator) while ignoring how often it could happen (denominator). I still remember during my brand marketing stint with Mondelez, we ran a scratch and win a year’s supply of Cadbury Silk contest as an activation campaign. Marketers on a mass scale highlight the winners to prompt more sales but at the same time astutely leave out the minuscule percentage of the number of units with the winning code. In fact, the Indian media industry is majorly exploiting denominator neglect, where they single out a particular case/individual for more TRPs while conveniently overlooking the macroscopic issues. Denominator neglect has widespread applications in the context of modern-day dating. Another phrase for it is, ‘ plenty of fish in the sea‘. You’ll meet around eighty thousand people in your life out of the more than seven billion there in this world. ‘Your time in this world is limited, the people aren’t‘. Denominator neglect is the biggest reason for numerous individuals spending years in miserable relationships due to sunk cost fallacy. It is also a big cause that so many bear the unreasonable lead time of their ‘crushes’ to finally see them go with someone else. Just a couple of pointers, Firstly identify your TG and USP, knowledge of self is the highest form of knowledge. Secondly, age demographics play a big role, especially for men. Also, these are in the context of India, for the western countries, you can add five years as a rule of thumb. A considerable number of girls from late teens to mid-twenties spend the majority of their leisure time battling macroscopic issues (patriarchy, government, misogyny, etc.) where they have little to no control. The remaining few have belief in the Cinderella story of Prince Charming. Mid-twenties to the early thirties go in microscopic issues and societal pressure of ‘settling down’. Most potential dates are looked at as tags (educational pedigree, well-paying profession, plush lifestyle) they bring to the table and whether those tags are worth a lifetime commitment. Women in the early thirties to late thirties on dates are in a fading hope of a happily ever after, in most cases for the second time around. Also, practicality is directly and lead time is inversely proportional to age. They may not be applicable to each and every case but archetyping always helps. By the age of 40, you’ll meet every person who is there in this world. You’ll either meet the person or their archetype (KF4D). There is no point in wasting your time crying over your crush/ex. There are countless like him/her. That brings me to the ‘Stanley’ sofa date. Was this the one? After years of dating in Delhi, had I finally found the right match? She felt like the order my chaotic life needed. I usually avoid dating engineers or Indian MBAs—they think in binaries, reflect skewed gender norms, and remind me of my own past. Dating is supposed to be an escape, not a mirror. Though she did her master’s at an Ivy League school, she was still a top-tier Indian engineer. Plus, she lived across the city with her mom—logistics could be tricky. Still, our conversation was sharp and full of laughter. We said goodbye after a warm night—her in my arms, city lights glowing through the glass wall. Later, Sidhant

So, I had gone to pick up a date. She stays in South Mumbai, and we had plans to go to a club in Bandra. It is approximately a half-hour drive. On the way, after talking for a bit we figured out that we had a lot in common. After getting acquainted really well during the cab ride, we reached our destination. Since the club was noisy and we’d hit it off, I asked if we could go to her place instead. She promptly agreed and we went back to her place. The Uber driver, though, requested us to book another cab. Anyway, coming to the MBA concept of ‘Lead Time‘. Operations management teaches it as the time between starting and finishing production. For example, a manufacturer may take 2 weeks to 6 months to deliver a new car after receiving an order. Toyota came up with the system of Just in Time (JIT) production. This means the wait time is zero. A JIT system has a car manufacturer keep low inventory and rely on its supply chain to deliver parts exactly when needed to build cars. Use lead time in dating to mean the time from meeting a romantic interest to reaching your goal. So, supposedly you meet someone whose LTV  is high and you want to date them for a substantial time, the lead time is bound to be more. You would like to know that person better before getting into a long-term commitment with them. In India, arranged marriages through matrimonial apps usually take a couple of years to find the right person. If you want a meaningful relationship, take ample lead time to know the person and gauge compatibility. Basing such a decision on the tags or the filtered life on social or the aesthetic appeal isn’t advisable. Small acts, like opening doors or how they treat waiters, reveal a lot. Take your time—no best deal is rushing away. If it runs away, it wasn’t meant to stick. Although, in case you are seeking a casual encounter, JIT is the scenario. As highlighted in the dating matrix, if physical gratification is all you seek from someone, the lesser the small talk, the better. JITs can be the case of a one-night stand at a bar with someone you have just met. On dating apps that are inorganic by design and with easy ghosting, a number of guys express interest in a girl’s profile with the hope of a casual encounter. An insightful takeaway is that the aim in such a case should be to decrease the lead time and interact in person rather than over screens. Getting a kiss emoji in a text doesn’t mean much. That brings me to the Uber story, it was quite close to JIT because both of us weren’t looking for anything serious. Once, I quickly bonded with a co-passenger during an ideal JIT Uberpool ride. In the context of small talk, we don’t even know each other’s names. Later Sidhant

So sometime back I was at a client office to discuss a potential project. I was waiting for the manager in the cafeteria which was buzzing with the other employees. Suddenly, I heard someone call out my name and saw a girl approaching me. I didn’t recognize her, which is surprising especially because she is cute. I am not saying that I am shallow and just into the aesthetic appeal, but good looks are not easy to miss. She came to my table and my puzzled response was visible on my face. With a smile on her face in an inquisitive tone, she said: “You do standup, right?”. This is the moment every ‘artist’ awaits for; a fan! Cloud nine is where I was, the feeling was indescribable. Finally, I understood how celebrities feel when fans surround them in daily life. Searching for a pen in my pockets, I responded in an overwhelming tone, “Yeah, which show did you come for?” She murmured,” Oh no, we met via a dating app, you came to my place and talked basically about your standup for the majority of the time”. And my celebrity life came crashing down just like that. Although, the bigger concern is how could I not remember meeting someone altogether. I mean I do live a rockstar life with endless parties, and women; but that is mostly just in my head. Anyhow, I covered up by saying “I am sure we had a great time, you seem amazing”. She rebuked with a straight face “Not really, I would have been better off without it”. Anyway, coming to the MBA concept of the ‘Anchoring Effect‘. In the early ’70s, behavioral economists had defined the term “anchoring”. It is basically the tendency to rely on the first information one receives and use that to make it an anchor in decision-making. Once the anchor is set, all decisions are made according to it, regardless of whether it makes sense or not. These anchors are all across the consumer market, some examples: supermarkets where they have 2 pricing labels showing (as if “by mistake”) the older price and the current one; when buying a car – the initial price offered to be the anchor. Even in the job market, this happens when a potential employee’s compensation is anchored on his previous salary, thus not taking into account the competencies, role fitment, and the potential value to add to the company. That brings me to the déjà vu girl. I took a project with the firm, and ironically, she ended up on my team. We worked closely over the next couple of months and became great friends. So much for online dating platforms. Another team member met her fiancé through a dating app a couple of years ago. I met people off apps too, and realized that for a meaningful long-term connection, letting things build organically works best. Apps are great for meeting new people based on mutual interest, and in today’s virtual world, they’re likely how millennials make human connections. Especially, right now with the COVID outbreak, use the online platforms to filter through potential dates, interact with like-minded individuals, network, make new friends, and who knows maybe swipe right into your ‘happily ever after’ life. Later, Sidhant

So I was at a cafe, it was 11 in the night and the place was quite buzzing with people. I was standing by the bar and retrospecting on how it’s been over a decade of dating, but I still end up interacting with the most aesthetically appealing girls at bars. Although the whole world is riding on the digital wave, not much has changed here. A girl with striking blue eyes approached the bar with her friend, instantly catching my attention. Every part of her looked perfectly crafted. She smiled at me twice, and I knew my prayers were answered. I joined her and her friends, and we quickly hit it off, chatting about everything from the Taj Mahal to starfish multiplying in turbine blades. Hours flew by, and soon the bar was closing. Anyway, coming to the MBA concept of ‘Hyperbolic Discounting‘. Hyperbolic discounting is a time-inconsistent model of delay discounting and is one of the cornerstones of behavioral economics. In a study, subjects said they would be indifferent between receiving $15 immediately or $30 after 3 months, $60 after 1 year, or $100 after 3 years. These indifferences reflect annual discount rates that declined from 277% to 139% to 63% as delays got longer. This is a bias that a lot of us often end up falling prey to in modern-day dating as well. Choosing a ‘good time’ over a ‘good thing’, especially with the dating apps gamifying the whole concept of dating. It essentially boils down to choosing dopamine over oxytocin, the two chemicals of happiness involved in interpersonal connections. Dopamine rush is the tempting high-calorie Italian meal. The issue is that dopamine lasts only short term and can’t sustain longer periods. You need oxytocin to balance out for the drop in dopamine. And oxytocin can be fostered by only investing in deeper emotional connections with your romantic partner. Thus, although a ‘good time’ might give an instant high, over the long run, a ‘good thing’ gives long-lasting happiness. We often fall prey to hyperbolic discounting when faced with this choice and have to make an instant decision. That brings me to the blue-eyed damsel. So is this it? Did I finally find the ‘good thing’? Well, the reason for her blue eyes, and the Taj Mahal discussion, is because she is Irish and was visiting India and heading to Agra the next day. Ironically though, she was staying in the Taj hotel, and the night was definitely a great time and even with the hyperbolic discounting will remain high on value decades later. Later, Sidhant