Author name: Sidhant

So, I was on a date and was having a bad hair day. I actually tried to copy the Don Draper hairdo from ‘Mad Men’ and failed miserably. When she said I looked like a lawyer which I thought was a compliment, she meant clerical staff. The fact that she is a model actually made it really hard for me to rebut her aesthetic appeal. Jokes apart, our conversation flowed effortlessly—we shared a love for psychology and mindful eating. She’s from Jammu and dreams of opening a healthy café there. I told her I believed in destiny and even joked that meeting her was fate. She disagreed, arguing that belief in destiny discourages effort. She countered my example, saying running into her was a chance, but seeing her again depended on our interaction. I walked her home, wanting to extend our time together. And I did see her—again and again. Almost every other day that week, I even considered leaving my toothbrush at her place. Anyway, coming to the MBA concept of the ‘Triangular Model‘. This concept often appears in business terminology, where combining three mutually exclusive components leads to various outcomes. In today’s e-commerce age, any item delivered has three components- quality, cost, and on-time delivery. In the ideal scenario, any firm wants to achieve all three simultaneously. For example, when Domino Pizza comes out with the 30-minute or free’ and simultaneously runs several promo codes for a discount combined with the Dominos brand quality, it is aiming to hit all three levers. That brings me to shifting my toothbrush to the model’s place. So, is this it? Has Cupid finally bestowed blessings on me? Is my ‘potion of love’ finally ready? Well, the love when the first two components (physical and emotional) are aligned is quite intense and overwhelming but ephemeral. The first two components were in place but the third one was missing. We are still great friends though. Later, Sidhant Fun Fact: It’s been a couple of years now, and she has founded her own successful, multimillion-dollar health startup. She was recently even on the Indian version of Shark Tank.

I’ve been hitting bars about three nights a week for over a decade, except for two years in a dry state. It has continued across cities, be it Delhi, Bombay, Bangalore, or even outside India. When people reach a new place, they Google top spots—monuments, markets, nature, food, and more. I Google ‘cool bars around me’. Imagine my plight—getting into IIM Ahmedabad only to spend two years in a no-bar state. One might worry that I am a compulsive alcoholic. Now comes the fun part; I don’t even drink. In fact, till a few years back, I hadn’t even sipped alcohol and even post that it hasn’t been my drink of choice. It ranks number 3; post chocolate shake and diet coke. Since having chocolate shakes in bars might not seem the most macho and also the gazillion calories, I stick with Diet Coke and pour it into a glass meant for scotch (on the rocks). The choice of not starting to drink or smoke was made by me at the age of 17, post watching a Bollywood flick, ‘DevD’. I could so see myself as that hopeless romantic protagonist who loses his entire life drowning sorrows of losing a girl with an endless stream of liquor. I get Experiencing Pleasure from ‘self-love’ and chocolate-based dishes (brownies, cakes, shakes, doughnuts, etc.). To cut calories from chocolate, I’ve been drinking litres of Diet Coke daily for over a decade. I get my addictive dopamine from spontaneous encounters or craving pleasure. According to the Pareto principle, the highest craving NPV in the shortest time comes from offline interactions—mainly at bars—where the vibe and inebriation help smoothen conversations and make me sound more interesting. Recently, on one such night, I was at a bar. I arrived around 11 and was on a call. Once I was done with the call, I saw two girls sitting at a table by the terrace wall. I was standing by the bar and the table was around four tables away from me. One of them had her back towards me, and I couldn’t see her. What caught my eye, even from afar, were her flawless looks and stunning smile. Secondly and more importantly, she was wearing a really cute hairband. This is an underrated accessory that I haven’t seen a lot of girls wear, especially in Delhi. As I have stated in one of my standups and the dating matrix, “subtle compliments are a good way to test the waters, and also women like sharp observation skills and precise compliments instead of generic compliments like “You’re so beautiful”. Avoid blanket compliments—women will see through them, and you’ll likely seem insincere. Another thing to avoid is the infamous “Can I buy you a drink?” line. Buying her a drink isn’t chivalry—it risks making you that guy spending for attention. You may actually turn them off because you look desperate. If you compliment her, be quiet – let her respond. If you ask her a question, be quiet – let her answer. Start off the conversation lightly, casually, and relevant to the situation you’re both in. If she responds, great – move ahead with the conversation, and if she balks or ignores you, move on.” And I just got the perfect opening line: a subtle compliment yet a sharp observation. I went up to her with this compliment with all permutations of her responses running in my head as in Delhi (Capital of validation ‘enthusiasts’), the worst she’ll say is not just NO. From a dry thanks to calling the bar manager and filing a lawsuit for harassment (the mind always wanders to the worst-case scenario), everything was on the table. But, something completely off the script happened here. As soon as I reach her table, look into her beautiful eyes and compliment her headband, I hear an excited voice from my back rhetorically asking, “That’s a pickup line, right?” As I turn around who is this veteran in the arena; I notice an impeccable beauty with perfectly crafted sharp facial features, unblemished skin, and the really cute aforementioned excited voice. Her face definitely had a resemblance to Nora Fatehi’s face and the whole appeal was quite irresistible. Now I had to play the dumb blonde who didn’t anything about picking up even clothes, let alone such glamorous girls (GG). So I used the same line I used in my standup about a bar interaction in 2012, that I am a rudimentary engineer et al. One of them is a yoga teacher (hairband one), and the other one is a brand consultant. But the conversation wasn’t quite picking up. Then something changed the rest of the night for the best. I told them that I talk and write about modern-day dating and draw insights into its various nuances. They promptly invited me to join them and sit at their table. The rest of the night just flew away in fun-filled conversations, laughter, and lots of insights (how to differentiate infatuation from love, chemicals in romantic interaction, etc.). I didn’t even realise that it was the bar closing time and everyone around us had already left. Anyway, coming to the MBA concept of ‘Experience Economy‘. Post the agrarian economy, industrial economy, and service economy, the next economy that follows is the experience economy. It is based on the belief that a brand intentionally uses services as the stage, and goods as props, to engage individual customers in a way that creates a memorable experience. Advanced experience businesses can charge for the value of the transformation they provide, like education, if it is shared in the value created by its graduates. A day-to-day example that all of us would have experienced is at the movies. I always use to wonder as to why they charge us more than twice for a can of soft drink at a cineplex. Turns out, they are charging for the experience of enjoying the soft drink while watching your favorite flick in the acoustically perfect

Recently, I had a unique encounter, the first of its kind for both of us. For me, it was the first time pull marketing (inbound) actually worked—she messaged me first. She gave me one of the best compliments: after I sent her my site link, she said she wasn’t sure what kind of person I was, but I was an amazing writer. Not a fan of the wine and dine ritual, I dropped by her place, and within 3 hours of her message, I was chilling with her. I even sent her my ‘fall stand-up’ beforehand to avoid repeating past mistakes. At first, she couldn’t believe I’d show up on a weekday with barely any prior connection, but that’s just how I am; when I want something, I go for it. I even rescheduled a meeting with a startup founder to meet her. As soon as I hugged her, I felt that the warmth was worth rescheduling a hundred such meetings. That combined with her well-crafted facial features, her animated Avengers t-shirt, and the bottle of Black Dog’s seasoned scotch that she opened just for the occasion made the risk totally worth it. We ended up watching some series on Netflix and chilling. It was Hotstar, and it was her account as I don’t have one. Even though we were poles apart, still we were so similar. She is a complete introvert, on the other hand, I am an outlandish extrovert. She is totally into her family and friends. I, on the other hand, don’t have any friends and should ideally disown myself for my rude behaviour.Still, we ended up vibing so well on many levels (Triangular Model). When I first kissed her forehead, she was surprised I knew that is exactly what she wanted. Anyhow, not just the off-the-charts physical chemistry, but also the non-stop banter and endless laughter with her hilarious sense of humour. The next day, we met again, and a day later, she booked a room at a 5-star hotel, where we chilled once more. Either together or on the phone, the time flew by in her company. We exchanged digs and laughed together. I just didn’t want it to end. Anyhow, coming to the MBA concept of ‘Minimum Viable Product (MVP)’. It is a version of a product with just enough features to be usable by early customers who can then provide feedback for future product development. A focus on releasing an MVP means that developers potentially avoid lengthy and (ultimately) unnecessary work. Instead, they iterate on working versions and respond to feedback, challenging and validating assumptions about a product’s requirements. It was coined by Frank Robinson, CEO of SyncDev, Inc. in 2001. Robinson used MVP to describe the “simplest version of a deployable product.” The term proved hugely influential and referenced in several popular books, including The Start Owner’s Manual, The Business Model Canvas, and Eric Ries’ The Lean Startup. In fact, Eric Ries is widely credited with popularizing the term MVP. The concept of MVP offers some useful insights in the context of modern-day dating. The high school sweethearts or the first relationships are the MVP, in a majority of cases these end being feedback loops where the mistakes provide learnings for future relationships. In a rarity of cases, the first relationship (MVP ) ends up in happily ever after. That also happened in the case of the app Dropbox. But in most cases, once you move on, learn from the mistakes of the first relationship. By the age of 40, you meet every person who is there in this world. You either meet the person or someone of similar characteristics (KF4D). So archetype people (TG) quickly and avoid falling into similar toxic/ monotonous relationships. Also, avoid falling into the trap of the sunk cost fallacy. A lot of people, especially women, end up investing even years into futile toxic relationships, just in hopes that the other person will change. That’s not how an MVP is built. You can’t expect the person to modify himself/ herself for you. You need to upgrade and move into more compatible, happier relationships. Otherwise, the frustration and constant self-doubt take a huge toll on mental health and adversely affects all future relationships and one also develops serious trust issues. Just remember one thing, ‘your time in this world is limited, the people aren’t’. That brings me to the Avengers T-shirt date. So, is this it? Have I finally found my ‘Hotstar’? Has my quest finally reached its endgame? Well, I had mentioned that we are poles apart. She is total oxytocin, while I am pure-play dopamine (TG). So before me, she had just one boyfriend (MVP), it lasted for six years. It took a huge toll on her mental health. She is quite fun as a person, but she is quite innocent and naive at heart. Also, when it comes to physical intimacy, she had slept with only him, and that too just one day. And I am the complete opposite when it comes to love, monogamy, and relationships. So she decided to quit on a high after a few weeks (peak-end rule) as she knew that the longer she continued, the harder it would get and things would get ugly. I didn’t want to leave, but there’s a maturity lesson I learned way later than I should have is: Providing happiness to loved ones far exceeds the momentous joy of focusing on just one’s own pleasures. I am still using her Hotstar account though. And, I did live up to the five-star ratings again (Diminishing Returns). She even said that the first day we met was a day she so cherished that she would want to see a replay of it even four decades later. Later, Sidhant Fun Fact: She has read every article on this site, some of them even multiple times. No one (including me) has ever done that.

So, a few weeks back I finally realized that maybe I am becoming too old for this casual devil-may-care attitude. For over a decade, I have been like a dog running after a car who doesn’t know what he’ll do if the car stops. And whatever I have achieved in life has not been because of it but despite it. The constant hunt for dopamine via new encounters has cost me a lot over the years. This realization didn’t hit me after any epiphany or my latest birthday or some new heartbreak but after an invite to some ‘kickass techno’ event by a friend. Now, I am more into soulful Sufi music, and Coke Studio/ Lucky Ali kind of listener. That’s when I realized that probably I am too old for Gen Z. But, I did need some more aesthetically appealing pictures for my Instagram profile as it had been a long time since I had posted them. Post 1 in the night, we decided to go check out another bar with a better ‘techno scene’. That’s where I met her. A few famous techno artists performed in a dimly lit bar while countless music junkies grooved to the music. Towards the rear end, away from the crowd, she was standing alone and just absorbing the music. The reason I noticed her, in particular, wasn’t her naively innocent smile or her unblemished skin or her docile eyes, but her curiosity. The curiosity as to why was such a cute girl standing by herself at a bar. With a gutsy stride, I decided to change that. I mean what is the worst that could happen? She turns utterly oblivious to my presence. I don’t that would be any different from me not approaching her at all. Across over a decade, I have never regretted following this ideology, either personally or professionally. Fortunately, we hit it off, and since the music was loud, we stepped out. She is an aspiring DJ and since she’s an introvert I did most of the talking, at least I’d like to presume that was the only reason. I mean after giving her a gazillion compliments, all I got in return was, “You are interesting”. While parting ways, we exchanged the modern-day equivalent of numbers: our Instagram handles. I texted her the following week, and by then, she had read some of my posts from the link on my Instagram. Luckily, she loved my writing, and we hit it off instantly. I visited her place since I’m not into texting, and she looked even more stunning than before. She’s probably the calmest, most zen person I’ve met, a stark contrast to my chaotic mental state. We ended up watching a kids’ movie—not the Up or Kung Fu Panda kind, but one for toddlers. Her love for such movies reflected her pure, innocent personality. The evening was warm and unique, and I didn’t want to leave her soothing presence. Anyway, coming to the concept of the ‘Relationship Matrix’. It draws from the award-winning book ‘Hyper Focus’. The book offers amazing insights to help us manage our attention and focus. I highly recommend reading it to help in taming the wandering mind. Even more so now than ever, when technology, especially social media, enslaves most of us. One of the key insights from the book is the ‘Time Utilization Matrix’. I won’t get into the deep dive as it doesn’t fall under the purview of this site. But the following matrix should be self-explanatory and will help you judiciously monitor your time to make the most out of it. You can draw a similar matrix in the context of romantic relationships to gain several valuable insights. If you retrospect on your dating life, you will realize two key components across all your relationships: attractiveness and productivity. In essence, how the chemistry was in that relationship; and how stable or compatible were the two of you in that relationship. Using these two parameters, we can categorize every romantic relationship in one of the four buckets- consummate, dead, toxic, or empty. The best form is a consummate relationship that is both attractive as well as productive. We realize it when all three components (emotional, physical, intellectual) of the triangular model are present in the relationship. This leads to maximum sustained happiness for both partners and must be treasured. The complete opposite is a dead relationship that is dull and unproductive. It is the worst state and must be abandoned immediately instead of prolonging the misery by engaging in the sunk cost fallacy. Your time in this world is limited, the people aren’t. The next one is the riskiest a toxic relationship which although attractive and at times even addictive, isn’t productive and is unstable. If you are looking just for a good time with no strings attached, then it is excellent for the dopamine surge, but tread this path with caution, as it comes with an expiry date. Either both invest emotionally to take it to the consummate form, or it transfers the dead relationship bucket, a lot of times leaving one of the two hurt due to mismatched expectations. Communication is the key here, The last one is an empty relationship which although productive is dull. Although on paper everything seems to fall in place and they are in a stable state, the spark is missing. In other words, ‘the butterflies in the stomach’ are long dead. A lot of long-distance relationships end up In this bucket after substantial time apart. In the case of empty relationships, conscious efforts need to be made to spice things up either by engaging in more fun activities together or by more spontaneous surprises, etc. It can then either successfully turn into a consummate relationship, or be abandoned into a dead relationship. In either of the two cases, you will have clarity and control over your romantic life. That brings me to the ‘Zen girl’. So is this it? Have I finally found

This site has provided better returns than any other investment, including degrees from IIT and IIM Ahmedabad. The MBA program’s exorbitant fees rank as one of the biggest scams in India’s education system, second only to the ed-tech boom.Anyway, sticking to the premise of this site, I started writing about modern-day dating about a decade ago. And the inspiration wasn’t from any of the writers or novels, but from a TV series, Californication. The protagonist is a writer who is quite lucky with women across ages, based on his heartfelt writing. Coming from an engineering backdrop with no artistic talents like singing, dancing, painting, etc., this style of writing was my only chance of redemption, to become one of the cool kids. And I feel my writing has paid off well by far. I was talking to a girl recently, and we decided to meet. I sent her the link to my post landing page. She replied ‘Let’s book a fancy hotel and chill for the night’. I gladly agreed; the proposition seemed too lucrative to be true when she booked and paid for a room at a five-star in Delhi. And the ironic part is that she isn’t some ‘old money’ cougar or anything. She is the same age as me and slogging it out in the corporate world. She bet big on me based on my writing; I felt a performance pressure building up for the first time. As soon as I saw her, that pressure vanished up in thin air. In over a decade of dating, I have found the facial features as seductive of just a couple of women. She is one of them; with her sharp facial features, especially her well-crafted nose. Though, according to Hindu traditions, I am a Manglik, which essentially means I am not marrying someone. And if I do, the other person will die (their words, not mine). But Indians with the highest population in the world, haven’t reached there by blindly following such beliefs. They found a loophole in this. Now if Manglik marries Manglik, then they cancel each other‘ Mangalikness’ and live happily ever after. In essence, it means I can only get married to a Manglik, who are rare to find in the Indian matrimonial pool. As fate will have it, she is a Manglik too. Anyway, coming to the MBA concept of ‘Diminishing Returns’. Diminishing returns also called the law of diminishing returns or principle of diminishing marginal productivity, economic law stating that if one input in the production of a commodity is increased while all other inputs are held fixed, a point will eventually be reached at which additions of the input yield progressively smaller, or diminishing, increases in output. In the classic example of the law, a farmer who owns a given acreage of land will find that a certain number of laborers will yield the maximum output per worker. If he should hire more workers, the combination of land and labor would be less efficient because the proportional increase in the overall output would be less than the expansion of the labor force. The output per worker would therefore fall. This rule holds in any process of production unless the technique of production also changes. Interesting insights can be drawn in the context of modern-day dating from the law of diminishing returns. So as discussed in detail in the dating matrix, the two brain chemicals involved in a romantic interaction are dopamine and oxytocin. Dopamine follows the law of diminishing returns. It will start falling per encounter at one point, in case there isn’t any spontaneity, unpredictability, or use of a completely different technique. Some couples try to spice things up by engaging in roleplays, swapping, etc., while others tend to gravitate towards oxytocin as the primary binder of the relationship as time passes. The thrill of one-night stands is so high because it is pure play dopamine and in most cases, the dopamine level will fall in case it is more than once, so won’t be worth the investment in terms of oxytocin-based attachment. That brings me to the Manglik perfectly molded beauty. So, is this it? Are my matrimonial stars finally in place? Is my ‘happily ever after’ finally on the cards? Now the issue is that the shelf life of such interactions for a lot of women is just one meeting, so I won’t be getting another opportunity to prove my critics (internal) wrong. And by the law of diminishing returns, she’ll presume that her dopamine level can’t go higher than that. It is unsaid in such situations, that it is a casual encounter. She said it was the most ‘fun’ she’d had in years and would likely remember it for decades. I was relieved to live up to five-star standards in performance. Despite the amazing time, I felt sad, sensing she wouldn’t see me again. She was trying to move on from her ‘soulmate’ and seeking casual flings. Quality doesn’t matter, quantity does. She was with someone else less than twelve hours later. Also, she is moving from Delhi soon. So, I’m back to writing—less as an investment, more as my last refuge in despair. That is what makes it so real and heartfelt. Fun Fact: She got married to her soulmate a few months after that night, so my lucky charm worked again! Later, Sidhant

Recently, I roasted a lawyer so well that she called it my full-time job and said I was epic. Coming from a professional debater, that meant a lot. I told her I had too many fancy degrees to justify that path. Within an hour of the roast, we had a quintessential first date. I dropped by after midnight to her dimly lit room filled with photos and a painting she made—our perfect meet-cute. She’s a well-read lawyer with strong views, evident from her bookshelf. Ignoring generic beauty, one of the three love components (emotional, intellectual, physical) in the triangular model was off the charts. I didn’t even notice how the night flew by in her company. Anyway, coming to the MBA concept of ‘Churn Rate‘. Churn rate measures how many individuals or items leave a group during a set period. For customers, it shows the share of subscribers who leave a supplier in that time. High churn can signal customer dissatisfaction, better competitor offers, or stronger competitor sales and marketing. People also call it the rate of attrition and use it to signify the percentage of service subscribers who discontinue their subscriptions within a given time period. In most industries, many brands compete, making it easy for people to transfer from one provider to another. The churn rate not only includes when customers switch but also includes when customers terminate service without switching.  Churn is closely related to the concept of average customer shelf life. For example, an annual churn rate of 25 percent implies an average shelf life of four years. An annual churn rate of 33 percent implies an average shelf life of three years. The churn rate can be minimized by creating barriers that discourage customers to change suppliers (contractual binding periods, use of proprietary technology, value-added services, unique business models, etc.), or through retention activities such as loyalty programs to increase the customer lifetime value (LTV). The concept of churn rate reveals a couple of interesting insights about modern-day dating. Firstly, while gauging a potential partner, it is important to know their churn rate. It translates into the number of romantic encounters they had in the past and at what frequency. The concept of churn rate reveals a couple of interesting insights about modern-day dating. Firstly, while gauging a potential partner, it is important to know their churn rate. It translates into the number of romantic encounters they had in the past and at what frequency. When in a relationship to prevent the me-too brands from preying on the customer (date), focus on oxytocin, and the bottom two quadrants of KF4D. The number of dating partners someone had in the past, the duration of those relationships, and the reasons for calling it off are a couple of data points for the churn rate. The data points reveal several insights since past behaviour often predicts future actions. So you can see if that goes in sync with your plans. Another important data point is the duration of singlehood (terminate service without switching). Although a high churn rate signals a red flag for serious commitment, an extremely low churn rate (dormant) also indicates inertia against getting involved with anyone. With time, one becomes too comfortable in singlehood, and breaking the inertia might be a hard task. So, you can tread the path and weigh your options accordingly. As words<actions<patterns, this helps you in making an informed rational decision. Secondly and more importantly, societal loyalty programs trap many of us in relationships with toxic partners. Having a low BATNA (Best Alternative) doesn’t mean that we should continue in painful relationships by falling for sunk cost fallacy. You might have to kiss a hundred frogs before your Prince/ Princess Charming. Don’t get discouraged or settle for unhappiness, fail fast, fail often. That brings me to the lawyer. So is this it? Is justice been served to my love life finally? Well, she just got out of a toxic relationship and wasn’t looking for anything serious. Also, my churn rate during the past ten days was 400% (4 encounters in ten days). So, even I wasn’t in any other frame of mind. That was the pretext of the date. Though, the NPV of the encounter definitely anchored it quite high; even for diminishing marginal returns. And the dopamine rush that my brain got that night was almost addictive. Later, Sidhant

So, recently I went out on a date at a bar. As explained in the landing page post, I don’t do that. But in this case, I made an exception for a couple of reasons. Firstly, we agreed to meet at the bar, but post that just go with the flow; and take the date to wherever we feel. Secondly, she is quite gorgeous. As soon as I saw her walking towards me, the second point was ingrained even deeper. With her ethereal looks, glossy cheeks, cute pink top, model-like height, and the quintessential warmth from the first hug itself; it felt like one of the best exceptions that I ever made. At 8 PM, the first bar was full, and so was the second. We finally got a table, and I ordered my usual—rum and Diet Coke. Back to the date: it wasn’t just her looks, but her infectious laugh that made me forget my worries. I kept complimenting her, and she joked, “If this is you after one drink, what about two?” Her natural pink glow wasn’t from makeup—she even saw a cosmetologist about it, and I wondered why. I loved our banter; her ‘player’ accusations on me made me feel that someone cares.. But given the jam-packed bar, the loud music noise, and all the reasons that I don’t meet out for dates, we called for the check and decided to head out within twenty minutes. I don’t think I have ever held hands with a date in public before this walk with her towards the lift and then towards her car. The lift was in the opposite direction though, and I could have taken the route straight towards her car instead. Post getting a bit acquainted, as happens in these situations, I made a split-second decision to book the nearest hotel since we just had an hour. She had to head back to her parents’ house post that. Anyway, coming to the MBA concept of ‘Brand Seduction‘. It talks about how brands need to target the subconscious rather than the cognitive ability of the mind to appeal to the target market. Many neuroscientists believe that over 90% of what our brain does isn’t available to consciousness. I won’t go into the intrinsic detailing of why one always makes decisions basis the gut feeling or the difference between emotions and feelings. We can draw a couple of useful insights in the context of modern-day dating. Similar to any brand, you need to seduce the subconscious mind of the potential partner to make them interested in you. Targeting with conscious messages like the aesthetic appeal or bank balance, or fancy degrees can only go that far. The closing the deal part doesn’t happen till they ‘feel it’s right’ aka the gut feeling. In matters of love, the subconscious has a much bigger role to play. The fancy degrees, the aesthetics, or the well-paying jobs might get you through some dating pre-filters. But, one can’t rationally woo someone into falling for him/her. One can’t argue it or use well-reasoned, logical points. It has to come from within the subconscious. That is why singers end up being so lucky with the women, music appeals to the subconscious. That brings me to the glossy-faced girl. So is this it? Have I found the contagious laughter to make me forget all my pains? Has my heart finally found its long-lost home? The nearby hotel turned out to be shady, and instead of a double room, we got one with two single beds and a partition. We couldn’t join them, which made for an awkward night. Despite it being good by India’s standards, it felt like one of my worst performances. By my usual standards, it dented my self-worth. She later called it a one-night stand, acknowledging the brand seduction, as I often play the philanderer. And since I am a ‘player’, it shouldn’t matter to me.The truth is, it matters—not just for my self-worth, but because I genuinely liked her warmth and genuineness. And so I am back to my only home all along, heartfelt writing. Later, Sidhant

I was at this woman’s place and just in awe of her accomplishments. The whole house was laden with her accolades and awards bestowed upon her from across the world. She is a marketer having stints with some of the biggest consumer brands. And she quit all that to become a travel influencer, has traveled to 60+ countries, has 500k+ followers on social media with a blue tick on Instagram! In fact, she saved my number as ‘Sidhant Dating Theorist’ on her phone. Time just pleasantly flew by in her company. We talked about almost everything under the moon, from her fun Coke stint in Singapore to her recent Laos trip. Anyway, coming to the MBA concept of ‘Target Market (TG)‘. Part of the success of selling a good or service is knowing to whom it will appeal and who will ultimately buy it. A target market refers to a group of customers to whom a company wants to sell its products and services, and to whom it directs its marketing efforts. Not knowing who the target market is could cost a lot of money and time for a company. Importantly, not all products and services are meant for every consumer. Zara targets men and women aged 18–40 with mid-to-high incomes. Its customers stay fashion-forward and trend-conscious, shopping either for themselves or their children. We can use the concept of TG to derive several relevant insights about modern-day dating. The dating matrix and DOSE talk about the chemicals of happiness. Each individual has different happiness chemicals as the dominant ones, which may change with age and/or other life-altering events. The triangular model talks about the three components of love (lust, attraction, attachment). They overlap in some ways, each type releases its own set of hormones. Testosterone and estrogen drive lust; dopamine, norepinephrine, and serotonin create attraction; and oxytocin and vasopressin mediate attachment. Delving into 4 chemicals in detail and drawing analogies from the concept of TG. Dopamine: People who are high on the dopamine scale tend to be curious, creative, spontaneous, energetic, restless, enthusiastic, impulsive, and mentally flexible. These are the explorers and the risk-takers (personally and in business). They are good at idea generation and can’t tolerate people who are boring. These people seek out others like themselves. Oxytocin: People who have high oxytocin activity are more sociable and eager to belong. They’re quite traditional in their values and less inclined towards exploration. These are builders and guardians. They’re calm, cautious, controlled like to make plans, persistent, concrete thinkers, detail-oriented, structured, fact-oriented, loyal. They prefer loyal people over interesting or exciting people. Generally, these people are drawn to others like themselves. Estrogen: People who are expressive of the estrogen system tend to be intuitive, introspective, holistic, imaginative, trusting, empathetic, and contextual long-term thinkers. They are sensitive to people’s feelings and typically have good verbal and social skills. These people are negotiators. They’re big-picture thinkers, tolerate ambiguity well, have mental flexibility, and have strong executive social skills. They’re highly emotionally intelligent. These people seek out others who are their opposites (testosterone types). To start, people driven by the testosterone system express toughness, directness, decisiveness, skepticism, competitiveness, emotional control, inventiveness, experimentation, exactness, analytical thinking, and assertiveness.They tend to be good at rule-based systems- engineering, computers, mechanics, math, and music. These are the rank-oriented directors. Typically, these people are drawn to those who are their opposites (estrogen). From these revelations, a number of interesting insights can be drawn. Firstly, the concepts like ‘opposites attract’, ‘men are from Mars; women are from Venus’, etc., are most relevant for those driven by the latter two hormones (testosterone, estrogen), and not everyone. Secondly, some relationships are just not meant to work out because of the above-mentioned governing dynamics. Stop falling into the trap of sunk cost fallacy and blaming yourself or your partner for the fall. Thirdly and most importantly, observing acutely and archetyping a potential partner to figure out their dominant chemical driver is in your TG can be highly beneficial. You’ll meet around eighty thousand people in your life out of the more than seven billion there in this world. Remember, your time in this world is limited, but people aren’t. That brings me to the one who validated my ‘dating theorist’ tag. Is this the end of the quest? Will we journey through life together? Maybe not. I chase dopamine—evident in my unconventional lifestyle and low LTV dating patterns over the past decade. Circumstances shaped this, not just choice. She, too, thrives on ways of getting dopamine; quitting a stable job at Coke to travel the world proves it. She did fit my TG? Yes—but dopamine takes different forms. Some chase it through intense careers, some through fame or exploration, and others through addictions. She gets her dose from her travels and career. Personally, though, she seeks oxytocin—emotional stability I can’t offer. Staying in touch would only make non-exclusivity harder. So, despite the connection, we said goodbye. After all, the dating theorist ran more field tests than theory. Later, Sidhant

So recently I did something that I have rarely done. I agreed to go on an outdoor date in the daytime. I don’t know whether it was the spontaneity of the plan or the comfort of her picking me up and dropping me back. In fact, I was wearing a quoted black tee and slippers on the date. She, on the other hand, was impeccably dressed. Everything about her, from her cool wayfarers, to the round, chandelier earrings and finger ring, to the floral skirt and chappals, to even a matching facemask, emitted an exquisite artistic vibe. That makes sense as she is a phenomenal painter and art teacher by profession. I could somehow feel that from the touch of her thin, soft fingers. One of her paintings We spent the entire ride in endless banter and laughter. She had suggested a place before the meeting, but one look at her and I knew where we needed to go. Despite living in Delhi all her life, she never knew about the quaint, artistic lanes of Champa Gali in South Delhi. While we were endlessly gazing into each other’s faces, she pointed out that I have beautiful eyes. I mean, out of all my facial features, she only found my eyes appealing? I, on the other hand, found her entire look and vibe mesmerizing. Anyway, she sketches daily, so I trust her judgement, but with a pinch of salt. Anyway, coming to the MBA concept of ‘Shelf Life’. People commonly use it even in daily parlance. Shelf life refers to the time a commodity stays usable before it becomes unfit for use. It applies to cosmetics, foods and beverages, medical devices, medicines, explosives, pharmaceutical drugs, chemicals, Tyres, batteries, and many other perishable items. Product teams aim for high shelf lives to maximise the lifetime value (LTV) they can derive from potential sales. Insightful analogies can be drawn in the context of modern-day dating from the concept of shelf life. Though, it is more relevant in the case of casual encounters with higher percentages of dopamine. It is the probable number of dates the other person will end going on with you. The aim has to maximize your NPV from those dates. It is different from lead time, and that is a precursor to shelf life. Your shelf life in casual dating starts once the product is opened aka you have gone on the first date. It is basically the time taken before the other person calls it quits to the casual dating space, and in most cases, also to your escapade with them. My shelf life across over a decade of casual dating has mostly been one date. Another reason why having my own landing page is quite essential for me. It means that the girl meets me just once, and whatever sparks have to fly happen in that meeting. Post that, once she goes back home, she retrospects and regrets; never sees me again. My Tee That brings me to the surreal painter. Had my life finally found its artist and blank canvas? She married her crush at 20 and recently ended a long, stressful marriage. Since then, she had dated a few men but never touched or even shaken hands on a first date—until ours. I wore a tee that read “Just Do It” in bold. Our hour-long drive, full of stops at traffic signals, empty lanes of Champa Gali, and the parking lot, sparked intense physical chemistry. But after going home and reflecting, she found nothing else in common, thought I was arrogant, and realised she still wasn’t over someone else. She ended it by blocking me everywhere. Her Painting Later, Sidhant

So recently, I was at the place of an adorably cute lawyer working in a litigation firm. Honestly, a simple ‘please’ and her childish smile could seal the deal. Her positive vibe is almost contagious, and I felt like I was with a proton. Given that I carry more of an electron’s cynicism, it makes complete sense that I felt magnetically drawn to her. I mean, she came across as so innocent that I could never have trust issues or doubt her. That adds up given that she is a nester (Churn Rate~ 1). In fact, one of her few relationships started in school days and lasted for nine years. Our conversations were ecstatic from the outset. We were sharing fun memes and amazing songs. In fact, she even sent me a meme of a guy dedicating a playlist to a girl and asked me if I would put that much effort into her. I told her that what the guy did had nothing proprietary or customized about it. He might’ve sent it to 20 girls, and his friends to 20 more each. I, meanwhile, spent a decade handcrafting every part of this site for each muse, pouring in my own art, sweat, and tears. She had just one request before the date, to just wear casuals as she would be wearing her night suit. Being in the litigation team of a law firm, she was wearing formals all day and wanted to give her body a breather. And I was like, I go to even bars in shorts, so just relax, I can never be overdressed. We planned on watching the Netflix series, Bold Type. She wanted to watch the latest season of Money Heist initially, but I haven’t watched it ever. This is ironic given that I had already watched Bold Type twice over. So much so for gender-based stereotyping. As soon as I hugged her, I sensed the immense positivity and warmth. Just to give a visual depiction, she has the perfect ‘girl next door’ looks. We started off by listening to some songs, and when I put on my playlist, she was like this sounds so depressing (me being an electron, it suits me). She asked me whether I liked Justin Bieber. I actually didn’t know how to answer that since I was so lost in her company, it took five seconds to recall who Justin Bieber was? She requested me to play a specific song by him The rest of the night was one of the most fun experiences I have had since coming back to India earlier this year. The encounter was definitely a first in a lot of ways, including the spontaneous thumb fight challenge in bed. Also, surprise catchup with an IIM Ahmedabad who I hadn’t seen in over 4 years. As it turns out, he is dating her flatmate, and in fact, he gave a great elevator pitch for me to her. My favorite part was when she cuddled up watching Netflix and told me not to mind if she fell asleep. This kind of warmth had been missing from my life all along. Although she had a long and tiring day and was working the next day, I just didn’t want to leave her side and left finally at 5 in the morning. Anyway, coming to the MBA concept of ‘Arbitrations‘, taught in the first-year course of law during MBA. Arbitration resolves disputes strategically without involving judiciary courts. Parties most commonly use it to settle commercial disputes as an alternative to litigation, which requires going through the courts. Parties often seek to resolve disputes through arbitration because of a number of perceived potential advantages over judicial proceedings. Companies often require arbitration with their customers but prefer the advantages of courts in disputes with competitors. The concept of arbitration offers a number of useful insights into modern-day dating. Firstly, the stronger your BATNA, the more strategically you are positioned at the arbitration table. Essentially, if your next best alternative even in the case the date doesn’t work out is good enough then you won’t act out of fear or desperation or a people-pleasing mindset. Secondly, unlike litigations, courts don’t pass the judgment; both parties can revisit the decision within a mutually agreeable time frame, reducing the chances of sunk cost fallacy. Essentially, the difference between marriages and live-in/ long-term relationships. People continue in unhappy/ toxic marriages for a lot longer because of the legal constraints and cultural inertia. Thirdly, since the decision-making is a lot faster so it helps in saving on crucial time. ‘ Your time in this world is limited, the people aren’t’. But there is a flip side to this, people sometimes go back and in retrospection regret what they agreed to at the moment owing to brand seduction. Thus the chances of backing out also become more. That brings me to the proton. So is this it? Have I found my customized playlist for life? Has this cute litigator helped me finally resolve my complex dispute with love? Have I found my proton to complete our atom? Well, she distanced herself from me over the next few days and finally came back with a message saying that she can’t stay in touch anymore and wished me a great life ahead. The song that she earlier sent me, stuck with me though. Later, Sidhant P.S.- A few months later, I found the perfect place after months of futile search. I had a quick word with one of the flatmates and immediately rushed to lock in the place. On my way, I get a call back from that flatmate telling me that I have been to that place before as the other flatmate was the litigator. And so my quests for both the perfect landing page and love remain unfulfilled.